To Face the Fears
by Kaeera
Summary: **THE LAST CHAPTER!!**Centers around all the ducks, everybody of them has to face his own, deepest fear...will they be stronger? Or will they just give up? VERY angsty and dramatic*FINISHED*
1. The power which can defeat everybody

**Disclaimer****:** Mighty Ducks don't belong to me. I am making no profit in writing this; if I did, I would have a better computer and many many more things...  


**Notes**: What to say? After a long break I am finally writing another drama/angst Mighty Ducks story. This one will have more chapters, like Help, and believe me, it will be dramatic and angsty! This time I will not only focus on Nosedive, but on the other team-members as well. The first chapter is a little bit slow; I needed time to 'get into the story', I hope it isn't too bad.  
The idea for this story was in my head for over three months, but I never managed to write it down. See, I am a busy person! Now, on with the story! Read it! (PS: PapillonStar! Becks! Ottercub! Dolphy! You are the best! Crazy cookies! I love you all*sniff* - but don't lock me in the closet all the time*glares at Ottercub* Take someone different! Take Angelfire!*laughs*~sorry Angelfire! - if you ever read this. I like your stories!) 

One last thing: This chapter is not very dramatic at all. There are many semi-humorous scenes; I didn't want to write it like that, but I can't always control my typing*hehe*. But if you have read 'Help', then you know what you can expect....hmm...pretty dark things....*shudders* 

* * *

_And I can feel it_

_The fear coming nearer_

_Taking away my mind_

_Taking away my will_

_Leaving me alone and frightened_

_Broken eyes looking into the space_

_Not seeing anybody_

_Not wanting to see anybody_

_Just the fear_

_Circling around me_

_I'm a prisoner_

_Of myself_

_And my Fear._

  


**To Face the Fears**

by Kaeera 

**Chapter 1: The Power which can defeat everybody**

"Boy, I'm HUNGRY!", Nosedive shouted and sat down on a chair. "Wing, this time you did it; I'm finished."  


"Already tired, baby bro'?", Wildwing smiled as he followed his brother in the living room. The younger duck glanced up at him and croaked: "Hey, this practise was HARD! I mean, you chased us around like....like _dogs_!"  


"Ohhh, I'm really sorry for that", Wind said, trying to sound pitiful, but unable to hide the amusement in his voice. Quickly he ruffled his brother's hair. "Dive, you just have to live with the fact that you can't beat the older ones."  


"Ha!", Nosedive snorted, "I can beat you every time, you old duck, you!"  


He stood up. "And now"; he announced seriously, "I will eat something", and went to the kitchen. Wildwing could only shake his head. "Tell me a time when you are not eating!", he yelled after his brother.  


"Doesn't exist.", was the dry reply.

The appetite of Nosedive consisted of eating anything that vaguely resembled food and didn't move faster than his bike. So it wasn't a surprise that he didn't mind the slightly green yoghurt ("gives the things a flavor - wanna try?") in the fridge. After all, even mould was a product of nature. And the others - especially Wildwing, fearless leader of the Mighty Ducks - would always tell him to eat more healthy stuff like vegetables. Plants. Wasn't mould a plant, too? It was definitely green....  


Well, the yoghurt didn't move (which would have been a proof for a new-existing life-form) so it was okay. And no, the stomach cramps in the night were no result of his eating habits! 

"Nosedive, you are disgusting.", Mallory stated as she entered the kitchen right in time too see what her younger team-mate was eating.  


"Everybody has his strong sides, Mal.", he retorted, "If I am disgusting, then you are a nightmare."  
The two stared at each other. "You know that I can knock you unconscious, don't you?", Mallory warned, eyes glimmering evilly. "Ehm...", Nosedive hesitated and decided that it would be better to flee. "Yeah, that's the strong feminine side of yours!", he shouted and hurried out of the room.

Mallory snorted. What a duck! This teen...she herself had never been so terrible.   


At least she didn't remember it.

  
* * *   


In the meantime, Dragaunus wasn't in such a happy mood. Too many failures, too many mistakes. The Saurian Lord was not used to the idea of loosing. He had always won.  
And now he was loosing against six ducks, six stupid ducks who even made jokes while they were fighting against him! They didn't take him serious, or at least some of them didn't.

Dragaunus hated nothing more than that, and he wanted revenge.

The bad thing was, every time he had a plan, they either discovered it or they survived the most awkward situations.

His new plan had to be something...different. Not intended to kill, but to destroy them.

But how?

The giant creature stared gloomily at the walls. How he hated this! Sitting in a room and thinking about something which would be probably useless. 

He sighed and stood up. Smoke came out of his nose while he stormed down the corridors of the Raptor. Dragaunus was angry - which meant that every living being in his near tried to flee. Unfortunately Wraith hadn't the chance, and he was surprised by a sudden grasp at his neck.  


"Wha...?", he brought out and stared right into the eyes of his leader.  


"Oh..my lord...", he gulped and tried to shift backwards.  
Dragaunus didn't care. He was angry and searching for a victim. "Why do you always loose?", he barked and shook the other saurian. Wraith sweated. "These ducks win against us, the rules rof the universe! We have managed to conquer their whole planet; now tell me: WHY ARE WE ALWAYS LOOSING WHEN THERE ARE ONLY SIX OF THEM???"

Wraith tried to look away. "I don't know, my Lord, but I am sure that we will win next ti..."

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR 'NEXT TIME'!!!!", Dragaunus thundered. Then he lowered his gaze. In the eyes of his subject was one emotion Dragaunus knew too well. The emotion which was in the eyes of every creature he faced. Dragaunus froze, images haunting his mind. People screaming, running away...and then it hit him!  
Immediately he dropped Wraith and laughed. "OF COURSE!", he yelled with satisfaction in his voice, "THAT'S THE SOLUTION!"

He grinned, showing his teeth in all their greatness.

"The Power against nobody can win. The Power which defeats everybody."

Wraith stood up, relieved that Dragaunus had let him go. "What do you mean, my lord?", he asked in an attempt to lighten the mood of his leader. He wouldn't have needed it, though; Dragaunus' spirit was high enough.

"What I mean?", he repeated and his eyes were glittering triumphantly, "The power I am speaking of, my little idiot, is the Fear."  
And he laughed. Wraith gulped.

* * *   


_The next day:_  


Nosedive was happily munching his taco when the alarm got off. "Great!", he groaned and stared at his hand full of taco. "Fighting against old crappy lizard-lips - or eating the best taco with extra hot chilli sauce?", he asked himself and couldn't find an answer. "Let's take both of them", he finally decided and stuffed the taco in his pocket. Then he ran to the Migrator, where the other ducks had already gathered. They all glanced at him.

"What?", he said, "I am not too late! Heroes do always come in time!", he entered the Migrator and therefore did miss Mallory's comment: "And idiots do always stuff tacos with sauce in their pockets because they are too stupid to realise that the sauce with soak their trousers!"  


Duke looked at Mallory and answered. "I bet he eats it anyway!"  


"He's disgusting.", the female duck stated and followed the teen.  


Duke put his arms up and pointed out: "Well, he's Nosedive.", as if this would explain everything.  


Wildwing just laughed. "I thought you had grow used to that - but then again, I live with him for 17 years now, but I still haven't figured out how he manages it to eat three pizzas, five cups of ice-cream and six tacos in only 15 minutes, just to tell me half an hour later that he's hungry."

After this short conversation, the team left the Pond. Had somebody overheard their previous conversation, he would have assumed that they went for a picnic and not for a world-saving trip.

"What's the target?", Duke wanted to know and peered on the screen.  


"A mall in the south-west.", Tanya informed him kindly.  
Duke wrinkled an eyebrow in confusion. "Why does ol'Lizard attack a mall?"  


"Ehm...Maybe because he hasn't enough clothes?", Nosedive suggested. "He could need a proper hair-style, too!"  


"It can't be worse than yours, Dive.", their leader stated.  


"Thanks Wing. You are always full of compliments."  


"You're welcome."  


"Better my hair-style than this stupid head of yours!"  


"Oh, we are getting mean, aren't we?", Wing chuckled.  


"Am always, just for you."  


"I knew that."  


"I know."  


"Then why did you say it?"  


"Just for the cause you forgot it."  


"I am not the one who always comes too late."  


"I don't forget the dates, I am just too busy to be there in time!"  


"Oh, really...you are just too busy with sleeping..."

They bickered for quite a while, until they reached the mall. The other ducks shared relieved looks - in this state the two brothers were really annoying!

* * *

  
Wraith watched Siege and Chameleon who were hunting people down the mall. Screams of terror filled the air, and smoke was all over the place. With a worried expression he turned around and faced his master: "Are you sure that this will work?"  


Dragaunus, who was sitting behind him on his throne, grinned. The saurian lord was in his ship, watching the battle on the huge screen. "Of course it will work.", his grin widened. "They don't want to hurt poor, defenceless human beings, so they will be less powerful than normal. We catch them and put them into the machine. The rest...is history."  


Wraith shifted uncomfortably. He didn't trust this machine, but if his master did...

He looked up and noticed the arrival of the ducks. All six of them stormed out, pulling out their puck-launchers and firing them towards the two saurians. Wraith pushed the 'sound-on' button, for he wanted to hear what they were saying.  
"They must come nearer so that we can catch them.", Dragaunus ordered calmly. Siege and Chameleon, who had both heard the order over their headsets, tried to do what he had said.

"We have to be careful!", Wildwing shouted, as he ran through the shops. "There are too many people!"  


"Yihaaaah!", Nosedive yelled, jumping on Chameleon, who morphed into a frightened Elvis. "I'll get you!"  


"Nosedive!", Wing barked, "Did you hear me?"  
His younger brother sighed. "Am never allowed to have fun!"  


"This is no fun!", Chameleon wailed, trying to run away. "Hey! It's not over yet!", the blonde duck stated and followed him in the next shop. 

Chameleon tried to hide under a table. "HAHA, I have something for you!", Dive laughed and waved with some red women underwear he had found in the shop. "Bet it will...huh?", he searched for the small saurian, but Chameleon had managed it to disappear. Nosedive scratched his head and looked at the other ducks who were entering the shop.  


"It wasn't my fault!", he said hastily and tried to hide the underwear behind his back.  
"Seems that our teen has found a new clothing-style.", Mallory smiled sweetly.

"I don't like this.", Grin murmured, totally ignoring the others. "There's a bad charma over this place!"

"Yeah, it's smelling pretty strange." Tanya admitted and sniffed.

"Dude, what did you think, it's an underwear shop after all.", Nosedive reasoned calmly and sniffed, too.

"IT'S GAS.", Wildwing shouted and covered his beak, suddenly recognising the smell. "GET OUT! IT'S A TRAP!! FAST!"

But it was too late. They had already inhaled the gas, and it was fogging their minds. Wildwing tried desperately to stand, but his knees became weak and he slumped to the ground. Behind him Mallory grabbed for a table, trying to hold herself up, but she also was overwhelmed by the gas and fell to the ground, unconscious.   
Wildwing couldn't keep his eyes open. He was so tired....so...tired....everything blurred, and the last thing he saw was Nosedive kneeling on the ground, loosing his consciousness as well, but grimly trying to stay awake. 

Then everything became black.

_More powerful than any weapon_

_Attacking everybody_

_Finding everybody_

_Hurting everybody_

_You can fight it_

_You can live with it_

_You can give up_

_But it will always be there_

_Around you_

_In your thoughts_

_And in your heart_

_Never leaving you_

_Forever there_

_Always_

* * * 

"Be careful.", Wraith ordered, and Siege grunted. "Why should I be careful?", he stared down at the six limp bodies. "They hurt ME often enough, after all."  


"Because Dragaunus has different plans with them.", Wraith informed him. "Take them to the Raptor; we have to hurry, the effect of the gas won't hold on longer."  


"Okay, okay.", Siege mumbled, and put two of the ducks over his shoulders. "But I still can find no sense in this."

In the raptor he was greeted by Chameleon. "Put them into the machine.", he said, pointing towards the huge thing one the other side of the room. There were six glass boxes, and many cables with blinking lights. For Siege, it resembled more a machine for making ice-cream then something useful.  


Dragaunus entered the room and watched his henchmen. "One duck in each box.", he ordered.  
The saurian did what he had said. Every duck got a strange helmet on his head. Then the glass boxes were filled with a slightly green liquid.  


"We are ready, my lord.", Wraith announced proudly.

"Then let's begin.", Dragaunus grinned and took a seat. "If I can't torture them physically, I will do so mentally. It's much more fun."  
Chameleon pushed some buttons and on the huge screen appeared a strange scenery.

"Be ready for the mightiest power ever, my ducks!", Dragaunus roared and laughed. This would be very amusing to watch.

_And I can't move_

_Because of the Fear_

_And I can't fight_

_Because I am frozen_

_And I am wondering_

_Is this end_

_Or will it be like this forever?_

__

**To be continued...**

* * *

Reviews greatly appreciated! I need constructive criticism on this story! But do always remember: I am German(nicht wahr, Dolphy?*g*)! I sleep in school! Especially during English class...  
This chapter was pretty lame, but the next will be better. One chapter for each duck, that's what I have planned so far! Much angst to come...and how I know me, weird things, too. Just imagine - what could be the deepest fear of every duck? *Kaeera 


	2. And even if I am strong, you can still h...

**Notes**: Ooookay, the second chapter. The humorous part is now over...it gets angsty now*evil smirk*. This chapter is very long, especially for me.This is one of the reasons why I will need time for the different chapters. One chapter for each duck. Since I have to bring many aspects into them, it needs masses of time to write and it's not that easy for me to write as you might think...I often need the dictionary :-P   
Oh yes, and another thing: I invented the whole past of Mallory. I just thought that it would fit...well, it's really difficult to think about the greatest fears of each duck...what will I make with Tanya? Eeek....I still have no idea*shrugs*  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own them, and you know that! 

* * *

To Face the Fears

_by Kaeera_

**Chapter 2: And even if I am strong, you can still hurt me **

  
She opened her eyes and found herself in a desert. There was nothing around her, just endless sand and stone. Flat. The horizon so far away that it couldn't be recognized clearly. Mallory turned around and frowned. How had she come to this place? She had been in this fight, and suddenly this blast had hit them all...

Was she dead?

If yes, then this wasn't death how she had imagined it. In fact, she had never really imagined death. She had always thought of it as an...end, over, nothing after it. You just stop living, and that's it.  
Waking up in a lonely desert was definitely not included in her definition of 'being dead'.  
Slowly she started walking.

_I am strong_

_stronger than you_

_I don't need help_

_I can manage it_

_I have always been strong_

_It's my destiny; It's my purpose_

_Needing help is weak_

_Being weak is bad_

_I don't want to be weak_

_I am strong_

  
She walked and thought about her current situation. She was relatively sure that this wasn't death, but it wasn't reality either.  
So she was dreaming? Mallory snorted. She hated dreams, because she couldn't control them. They were...annoying! You could dream about everything, and sometimes dreams were way to strange for her taste.  


So you like to control  


Mallory swung around, grabbing her puck-launcher - only to notice that there was none! She cursed. Without weapon, she was only half as strong. She looked nervously around, trying to identify the owner of this strange voice. But her eyes searched in vain.   


You can't see me, the voice stated with a certain satisfaction.  


"Who are you?", Mallory barged, always scanning the area. The idea of not being able to see her enemy irritated her greatly.  


I am someone. Nobody. Everyone.  


"What a great answer!", the female duck spat out. "Shall I believe that? This is just a trick of the saurians, I bet!"  


Didn't you believe that it is a dream of your own mind?  


A dream you can't control?"  


Now Mallory was utterly confused. How could this voice know about her thoughts which had been in her head only a minute ago?  


This is no dream "So, what then?", she wanted to know.  


Or maybe it is? Mallory fumed. "What is your stupid game?"  


MY game? the voice seemed to laugh.  


Playing with you! It whispered near her ear, and she jumped, hitting the point in the air out of reflex. But there was nothing, and she landed on the ground. A soft breeze stroked over her face.  


You can't see me the voice hissed.  
You can't fight me  
You can't touch me  


"SO WHAT'S YOUR INTENTION???", Mallory screamed.  


To hunt you destroy you kill you make you suffer darken your thoughts awaken your fears destroying your hopes breaking your heart dampening your spirit  


The words were invading her head, she couldn't ignore them. "Who are you?", she finally managed to speak, still echoing the words in her head, not leaving her mind, darkening her thoughts like it had said.  


I am your fear it shouted, louder than everything the duck had heard before, and she covered her eyes.  


I AM YOUR FEAR  
Mallory shook her head, trying to stop the tears which started falling off her eyes.  


THERE IS ONLY ONE THING YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID OF  


ONE THING WHICH CAN DESTROY YOUR HOPES DARKEN YOUR MIND BREAK YOUR HEART  


And Mallory screamed, a scream full of pure horror, still hands over her ears. Alone in the wide desert, the young female sat on her knees, head clutched with both hands, screaming with every power she had.  


And the voice thundered satisfied FEAR  


Wind howled over the plains, carrying away her scream, carrying away her salty tears, but not being able to carry away the fear which had started to grow in her heart, the fear she didn't know the cause...

It has just begun, a last whisper hushed over the desert, one whisper which was more frightening than the loudest shout.

_But I can't move_

_But I can't see_

_But I can't fight_

_I want to be strong_

_I don't want to need help_

_But I am helpless_

_I am scared_

_Fear everywhere around me_

_Invading my thoughts, darkening my heart_

_No way to fight it_

_No way to flee_

_Can't fight..._

* * *

  
Siege watched the duck with mild interest. Floating in the green liquid, unconscious and helpless, Mallory didn't look as frightening as in battle, and the saurian felt triumph rose. Although he didn't understand much of the technique, although he hadn't seen the sense in this - he now enjoyed being able to watch his enemies in the glass boxes. They were so helpless!  
No jokes, no smart comments - now it was him who could joke! He smiled.

He knew that they were dreaming. Not good dreams, regarding the looks in their faces.

_"They shall dream of their deepest fears._", Dragaunus had announced proudly, _"It will destroy them. They can't flee. They have to face their fears. Their deepest fears."_

_"And if they wake up, they will be destroyed. Mentally dead. Broken."_

_"If?"_, Wraith had asked.

_"If. Because I highly doubt that they will. It costs much courage and strength to fight - and win - against your fears. Will they be strong enough? Separated, alone?" _

Siege grinned. He didn't understand this all, but he understood that it was a way of torturing their enemies without harming them physically.

And torturing was always good. As a saurian on Puckworld, he had always liked it to hurt the prisoners.. Seeing the blood on the ground, hearing the screams. It was a kind of power the huge saurian not often had.

And he enjoyed it.

Like every saurian (with a few exceptions) 

He continued watching the red-haired duck, realizing the painfully expression on her face. '_Good_', he thought. _'Suffer! Suffer till you're dead!'_, and triumphantly he hit the glass with his fists. Again. And again.

* * *

Mallory stared at the sky. She felt such a heart-gripping fear that she herself was surprised. There was no logical reason to be afraid...her brain continued telling her that this all was a dream, an invention of her own mind or a stupid trick the saurians were playing with her. But although she sensed that this was true, she couldn't fight against the dark feeling in her heart. She was totally afraid and _lost_. All she wanted to do was to huddle in a corner and to close the eyes. But she couldn't. Something was preventing her.

And suddenly, the scene changed:

_A soft wind was breezing, and the sun was shining warmly down on the ducks. It was a beautiful day on Puckworld and everybody seemed to be happy. People were smiling and greeting each other, and it was a pleasure to walk in the park.  
The little girl with the red ponytail did definitely enjoy this weather. She was busily trying to catch a small bug with a cup, but every time she got near it, it would fly away.   
Mallory squealed and hopped after it. She would get this bug, and then she would take it home and show it to her brothers! They would be proud of her!  
The girl giggled and continued her efforts._

"No!", Mallory gasped and closed her eyes. "This is not...it's not possible!"  
How could it be? She was there...in the past...in **her** past! She knew this event...remembered it...but she didn't want to see what happened next, no, she didn't!

_"Mommy! Mommy!", the girl yelled happily and entered the house. "Look what I have found! Look there, mommy, it has blue dots and green....", her voice trailed of when she noticed the people in her house. "Mommy?"  
Eyes wide in shock she stared on the crumbled figure of her mother on the ground. "Mommy!"  
She wanted to run to her, but the four huge ducks stopped her. Mallory had never seen their faces before, but they looked truly mean and evil. "Who are you?", she said in a tiny voice, clenching the glass box in which she had caught the bug. "Mommy, who are these people?"  
But her mother didn't response. And slowly she could see blood trickling down of her mother's neck.  
She was hurt! Her mother was hurt!  
Mallory was frightened. Adults were never hurt! Especially not Mommy. She did help her when she had scratched her knees, but who did help her Mum?  
So frightened was she that she didn't notice one of the male ducks moving towards her. "How nice", he snarled and grabbed her harshly. She screamed of pain. "The little duck has come. And how frightened she is...just like her mother, not? So weak!", he laughed, a laughter Mallory should never forget.   
Her gaze went away from this horrible face and wandered through the house. Now she noticed that the normally clean kitchen was messy and untidy. The drawers were all opened and the cupboards damaged. And some things were missing. Mallory's eyes became wide in shock. Burglars? Here? In her house?_

"Nonononono", Mallory whispered and tried to cover her ears. "I don't want to see this, I don't want to remember it...I have gotten over it, it was long time ago..."  
But even when she closed her eyes, she could see the pictures, could her every sound, every movement. She was living through it, and there was no way to fight it. Tears dwelled up in her eyes.

_Little Mallory tried to run away, but the burglar was still grabbing her. "Wanna make troubles, don't ya?", he grinned and shook her. An other duck added: "Just like the mother, huh? We have to make sure that she won't tell anyone."  
_

_"I told you before that we should wear masks", the third murmured.  
_

_"Shut up!", the first shouted, "She's just a kid. We have to frighten her, then she won't be a problem. Kids are easy to manipulate!"  
_

_Mallory, who had listened to the conversation, froze. She didn't want to be frightened. She was already.  
The first beat came without a warning. It hit her on the right cheek and she could taste blood in her mouth. The girl stumbled to the ground, the glass shattered and the bug flew away. Tears began to fall down her cheeks. "See? She's already crying.", the huge burglar said and pointed towards the girl on the floor. "She's just a kid. **And** she is a girl. Girls are always weaker than boys."  
_

_"I am not weak!", Mallory protested and clapped immediately her hands over her mouth. She was a strong girl. She was faster then most of the boys she knew. And she was the best fighter in the neighbourhood. But she also knew that this wouldn't help her against four adult ducks.  
_

_"Did you hear that?", one duck snorted. "She isn't weak! Well, but she will when we have finished with her!!"  
_

_She was prepared for the next blow. It took her breath, but she bravely tried to fight the tears. She was strong.  
But more blows came, and every hurt more. Soon her face was bruised and she was bleeding. But she still didn't cry._

"You can't do that to me...", Mallory weakly said, but she had stopped her fighting. She just watched in horror what she thought was forgotten. She had been six years old then, and the nightmares of this event had stopped when she was 17!   
She had believed, had wanted to believe, that it was over, forgotten, buried and lost somewhere in her brain, but now, when she saw the scene, every hurting memory came back with a painful intensity.

_"NOW I TELL YOU SOMETHING!", the duck shouted and grabbed Mallory at the collar. "You are a girl. Girls are weak. You think you are strong? Then tell me why you can't fight against us. Why you couldn't protect your mother!"  
Mallory flinched. The pain was immense, but she was still aware of her surroundings, and these words had hit a sore point.  
_

_She couldn't do anything.  
_

_She didn't do anything.  
_

_It was her fault. She had always believed that she was strong, but now she found herself in a situation like this, and she was more frightened than ever before. And she couldn't fight against it.  
The next blow came. And the next. And then came the moment Mallory stopped to fight against the tears. The moment she gave up.  
_

_"Now you see.", the duck hissed, "What a worthless piece of dirt you are! Weak! Useless! You are helpless against us!"  
Out of swollen eyes, she stared at him and sobbed. Finally she nodded.  
_

_"Good. And you won't tell anything about us. You don't know how we look like. Understood?"  
Again she nodded.  
_

_"You will tell them that we were wearing huge masks, and that you could never recognize us. Clear?"  
_

_One last nod, and then he let her fall on the ground. She curled up in a small ball and tried to stop the sobs which were shaking her body. When the last blow came, she welcomed the warm and peaceful darkness._

Mallory cried. Something she rarely did, but now she couldn't stop it. She felt exactly the same. Helpless. And weak. Like she had been when she was six years old.   
But she wasn't six anymore. She was supposed to be stronger. She was a member of the Mighty Ducks, after all. If the others could see her like that, they would throw her out of the team! She couldn't be weak!

_She had woken up in the hospital. The little girl had been afraid of her surroundings; the cold, white walls and the huge bed in which she looked even smaller than she was were so different from her lovely, small chamber at home. She felt ...wrong there, out of place.  
Her father, who had been in the room with her, hadn't noticed that she was awake. He was talking with the doctor.  
_

_"She will be okay", the female doctor said, "The bruises will heal, and nothing was broken. But it's a possibility that she might suffer from a trauma after it. Kids in her age react differently to such situations."  
_

_"And what's with my wife?", her father wanted to know, and she could hear the worried undertone.  
The doctor stayed silent for a few seconds, then she spoke very slowly: "With your wife...it's different. Her bruises are far worse and she has some internal injuries. To tell the truth, Mister McMallard, it doesn't look good for her. We are doing our best, but sometimes that's not enough..."  
_

_Mallory closed her eyes when she heard her father's broken voice. "I-I thank you doctor..."  
She tried hardly not to cry, but it was difficult. She was a little kid, but that didn't mean that she hadn't understand the meaning behind this words. _

_Her mother would die!  
_

_The image of the crumbled form of her mother's body came back into her mind and she shuddered. She should have helped her! If she hadn't caught this bug, then she would have been at home in time...but even then she would have had no chance. They had beaten her with such an ease that Mallory felt like a doll. She had been useless, to her mother, to her father...why hadn't she fought?  
_

_Surely her brothers would have done something, they were always so strong - but she? She had frozen in fear.  
Mallory had always believed that you could fight against the fear. But now, at the small age of six, the girl made the discovery that sometimes fear was stronger than you...  
_

_"You are a girl. Girls are weak. You think you are strong? Then tell me why you can't fight against us. Why you couldn't protect your mother!"  
He had been so right! She was weak! She was a burden..._

Mallory trembled of surpressed feelings. She hated being a burden. It was her worst nightmare...she was strong. Stronger than the others. She knew how to fight, and she knew how to use weapons. She was a Mighty Duck, after all.  
But sometimes...sometimes all your skills and all your power cannot help you. For there are enemies which can't be seen. Because they are in **you**!  
Fear was one of them, and it was the strongest.  
You can fight it. Many ways exist, but you have to find them. And the first step is to search...

_She stayed in the hospital for three days. And neither the nurses nor the doctors gave her answers on her continuing questions regarding her mother. All she earned were pitiful glances, and that told her enough.   
_

_Her mother wasn't well.  
_

_That certainly didn't improve her mood - and her healing became slower. But she didn't mind. The nagging fear deep inside her heart was burning in her, darkening her mind and giving the small child such an adult-like expression, full of grief and worry, that it was frightening.  
Mallory herself didn't notice the change in her behaviour, but her family did. Her brothers started to avoid her, leaving her alone in her state. Feelings had never been a great deal in their family, so they didn't know how to deal with them. _

_Then came the day she would never forget. They day which should change her life.  
It was her last day in hospital. A nurse came to her and said that she would see her mother now. She stared at her and gulped. One part of her didn't want to do this. Another part told her that it was her duty as a daughter. And she wanted to see her loved mother.  
_

_So she took the hand of the nurse and went with her to a room on another floor.  
_

_When Mallory opened the door with shaky small hands, the first could only see darkness. Curtains were in front of the window, blocking out the sunlight and morphing the usually bright hospital room into a gloomy chamber out of a horror movie. And in the middle of this chamber - the bed!  
Slowly the girl tapped nearer, carefully avoiding every noise. Her eyes gazed over the silent figure and noticed every detail...the pale face and the pain memorised in the lines of the face as well as the white pillow and the ring on her mother's finger.  
Mallory stroked over the hand of her mother and flinched. It was cold!   
_

_"Mallory...", a tired voice said, and she turned around to see her father standing in the corner. "Mallory, it's hard to explain...I don't know how to tell you...", he hesitated, voice broken, tears glimmering somewhere deep in his eyes.  
_

_She turned back to the bed and watched the face of her mother. The...body of her mother.  
_

_"She's dead.", she spoke calmly, as if she would state something normal, but her heart was bleeding.  
_

_Her father breathed deeply. "Yes...she had internal injuries. This night she had a collapse and her heart stopped beating. The doctors tried to revive her, but it failed...your mother had lost too much blood and so she..."  
_

_"...died.", Mallory finished his sentence. My fault My faultmyfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfault!  
_

_"Mallory, we have to be strong now...", he said and put a hand on her shoulder.  
Strong...strong....But I am weak I am weak Iamweakweakweakweakweakweakweakweakweak...She whirled around and stormed out of the room. She wasn't weak....she was never!  
She ran and ran, until she reached an old stairway. There she stopped and panted.  
_

_I don't want to be weak. She had fled...she hadn't stayed, but it was her mother! She should stay and say farewell...But she couldn't.  
_

_I will become strong. I don't want to run away.   
_

_Stronger than everyone.  
_

_And the fear won't hurt me again._

* * *

Mallory stumbled on the sandy ground. Her feet were hurting and her skin burned. But she didn't mind. All she wanted was to run away, to flee this nightmare. The usually strong woman resembled more a little girl; helpless trying to get away.  
And truth was, she felt exactly like that: a small girl. Vulnerable.  
Her mind screamed "Fight!", but her heart didn't listen. For her brain didn't know how to fight against this fear, this invisible enemy.  
Who was behind this?, she wondered. It wasn't a dream. No dream could be so real. So how did she come here? And who was the owner of this voice?  
She stared into the sun without blinking. A soft breeze was soothing over her face, stroking over her red hair. She wanted to enjoy the welcome cool air. She wanted to forget about what had happened, but the images were hunting her.  


_Her dead and cold mother.  
_

_The eyes of her father when he had told her the News she already knew.  
_

_The moment the burglar yelled at her and hit her face._  


Mallory clenched her teeth.

Already giving up?

This time, she wasn't surprised. Somehow she had expected this.  
"Why do you think that?", she asked calmly. "I haven't given up yet. It takes more to break me."   
And the moment she said this, Mallory realized that it was the truth. She still hoped. She still had the spirit to fight. Amazed by this sudden discovery, the red-haired duck totally forgot to search for the owner of this voice, like she had done before. She was thinking. There was always a way to fight...and what if to fight against this meant _not fighting_? She couldn't win with weapons. But maybe she could win with her mind...

My,my, are we heroic today. But you are too frightened. The fear is eating you, little girl.

She glared coldly at the sky. "You are right", she admitted, "I **am** frightened.", she herself was surprised about the easiness she spoke this words. And about how relieved she felt. In fact, she had never admitted that she was frightened. She had been afraid of that! But recognizing - and accepting - that you have fear is brave. And the first step into the right direction.

What an useless child. Too scared to fight. If you want to be strong, you can't be frightened, kid.

Mallory balled her fists and trembled. Oh, she felt so angry...she didn't want to be weak! She wanted to fight!  
"I will fight you! I don't give up!", she screamed, not believing her own words. They echoed in her mind, back and forth....I will fight. I won't run away.

And then it hit her. She wasn't the little girl anymore, nevermind what her feelings kept telling her. The fact that she wanted to fight although she was scared like hell proved that she had the ability to be strong. Because you are weak when you give up. Not when you stand up. The second step was done.

You are weak. You can't win the voice stated, but there were doubts in it. The duck didn't care about it. She ignored it and reflected her feelings.

Mallory stared on her feet. Then she...then she was still strong, wasn't weak...maybe she could allow herself to be frightened? Maybe? If she just didn't give up, kept her will to fight and to **win**.  
A triumphant grin appeared on her face. Yep. She could do it.

The fear was still there, in her head and her mind. But now it was bearable. She could live with this. And she would find the way out of here, no matter what happened!  
She was Mallory McMallard, a soldier and a member of the Mighty Ducks! 

You are frightened! You are scared!! the voice repeated with an edge of panic in it.

The red-haired woman looked up and fire burned in her eyes. She was Mallory and she was furious.  
The voice became silent. And Mallory grinned.

* * *

"What happened???", Dragaunus roared and pointed to the black video screen.  


"I don't know, my lord.", Wraith answered hastily and pushed some buttons. "The fear-machine isn't working any more, and somehow the brain pattern of the duck has changed."  


"Why?", Dragaunus wanted to know and growled. He had spent the last hour in watching Mallory's memories on the screen, and he had really enjoyed it. The idea of seeing one of these ducks in so much fear did certainly please him, and one hour of such a 'movie' was better than every holiday.  
Understandable that he wasn't very happy about this sudden change. The screen had went black - from one moment to another.  


"It seems...", Wraith said slowly, fearing the anger of his master, "It seems that this duck has managed it to fight against our machine.", he gulped.  


"Or better, she tries to fight. Because of that we can't see her thoughts anymore. The computer tries to break her will, and obviously this needs all his sources."

Dragaunus closed his eyes. "Okay....", he spat out. "Stupid ducks! Fortunately we have five others left", he rubbed his eyes. "I want to see the next one. Wraith!"  


"Yes, my lord.", he sighed and pushed some more buttons. 

Dragaunus laughed. "Let's see what the deepest fear of _this_ one is!" and he settled back in his chair, musing if he should eat some popcorn or not.

**To be continued...**

* * *

And, what do you think? Did I catch Mallory well or was she ooc? Please tell me! Phew, it was really hard to write this one!*glares* But thanks for the reviews! I love ya all...thanks, **Dolphy**, for beta-reading this! - Thanks, **Pappillon**, for your encouragement! - Thanks, **Ottercub**, for your numerous reviews on my stories! (The taco was in the front pocket, by the way) - And thanks to **Becks** and **Angelfire** for writing excellent stories! Oh, I am pathetic, not? Hehehe*snickers*, which duck will be the next??(I don't know...I will see when I start writing!). :) Kaeera  
Comments and critisicm can be sent to **kaeera@yahoo.de** - I love getting mails!


	3. Wild Outburst

**Notes:**THIS CHAPTER WAS DIFFICULT!!I had many problems writing this one...I mean, honestly, Grin is a hard job to write. He's so cool and calm and..ack, I don't know what else!! It took me an eternity to find an idea, and I am still not satisfied with the whole thing. So if this chapter sucks, I am truly sorry, but I really can't portrait Grin_ - _I am not good enough for that!!!*sobs*   
Anyway, I would like to thank you all for your reviews^^ You don't know how happy you make me humble small writer with them*snickers* THANK YOU,THANK YOU,THANK YOU!!!!*hugs everyone* Oh, and by the way, there were many questions when I will write Nosedive...I think he will come as last. Don't understand me wrong, I don't want to torture you...It's just that I want to handle every duck equally. And if I wrote about Nosedive now, I would n´be totally involved in his story and loose the 'spirit' for the other ducks. So sorry for that!  
**Disclaimer:** Nothing new here. They still don't belong to me, yadda yadda! ~Kaeera   


* * *

_  
I was strong_

_Always_

_But some powers have to be controlled_

_And I couldn't_

_I was too strong_

_I couldn't control my feelings_

_I was dangerous_

_I am still dangerous_

_But now I know_

_how I can keep control_

_Just sometimes_

_There are moments in which I fear_

_I fear that I loose the control_

_And loose everything_

_I've gained so far_

_Everything_

_  
_**To Face the Fears**

_by Kaeera _

**  
Chapter Three: Wild Outburst **

People were walking down the streets. No humans, but ducks. Many of them. Hundreds. Maybe thousands. They all walked there on the small pavement, a stern expression on their faces. No smile, no laughter lightened their faces. They stayed grey, and made the mood very gloomily.  
Grin had spent the last five minutes in watching the people around him, and he was still confused, for he hadn't solved his problem yet: Where was he???  
The huge duck remembered the fight, and the gas. He had assumed that he and his team-mates were caught by the saurians - but obviously this assumption was wrong...here were definitely no saurians. Just the creepy silent crowd - he still hadn't figured out if this was an improvement or not. However, Grin didn't feel well under the eyes of all these people. He preferred to be alone...always avoiding big crowds for reasons only he knew.  
"Excuse me...", he said to one of the passengers, but the silent duck ignored him and passed by.  
"Pardon...", he tried again, but he got no response. He didn't like this at all. Maybe this was a dream?

A nightmare?

Slowly he made his way through the crowd, trying to find some of his friends - or something familiar. The houses looked all the same; typical houses, grey, boring, lifeless. There was no nature in sight, no green leaf, only concrete and cars...and the people. The ducks.  


You should be happy  
Grin froze. This voice...where had it come from? He watched the ducks around him, but nobody looked as if he'd said that.  


After all, you are with creatures of your kind  


The giant duck closed his eyes and tried to focus on the noise. Where did it come from? Who had said it? He concentrated on his one sense - hearing - shutting all the others out; something he had learned in hard years of training. A very useful ability, but unfortunately it failed this time. It seemed as if the words would come from every direction. Maybe some loud-speakers?  


Trying to find me?, the voice asked amused.  
Grin gave no response. It wasn't worth to waste energy.  


You can't find me it continued Because I am in your mind

He opened his eyes. "Why?", was the simple question.  
Because I am...your greatest fear the voice hissed.  
I can destroy you. I know what weakens you, because I can see your heart  
Grins' face stayed expressionless. He kept control, no matter what. And he didn't trust this...thing.  


Don't believe me? someone laughed Want to have a proof?"

A sudden pain behind his eyes! Immediately he tried to cover them, but then he realized that the pain was **in** his eyes. The world started spinning, and his vision got blurry. Grin tried desperately to fight, to stay upright, but he found it difficult. There was something...a power, which seemed to invade his brain and his body with all the functions.  


And then...then it was over.  


Was it? He looked at his hands, still stunned by his experience and tried to analyse what had happened. He didn't have a clue, and that was really annoying him.  


"Hey man!", a familiar voice shouted and Grin turned around. His eyes grew huge when he recognized the figure of his dear friend.  


"Nosedive!", he gasped, forgetting for once to suppress his emotions. The teen smiled and stepped nearer. "Creepy area, huh? Would be perfect for a horror movie!", he chuckled. "Hey, and Trash could be the main actor, he surely looks angsty enough."  
He laughed even louder. Grin wanted to join, but to his horror he had to notice that he couldn't laugh. His body wasn't responding. What the...  
His hand moved and seized Dive by the collar.  
What am I doing? I don't want this! It's just happening! My hand...what's with my hand? His mind was whirling, and for the first time he felt panic rise. Why couldn't he control his body?  
Again his hand moved, he balled his fists....and could see the sudden fear and confusion in his friends' eyes, could feel the emotions, could just watch...his fists hit Nosedive straight into the face, making him fall on the ground.

Everything froze. Blood dripped down, making splashing noises on the cold street. But the look into the eyes of the young teen was worse than everything. He looked hurt. Confused. And...scared.  
Scared of him! He had...he had beat his friend! He had hurt him on purpose!

Something broke. Deep inside his heart something broke into thousand little pieces, and he knew that he would never be able to repair it.  
Why? was the only question he could think of. Why am I doing that?

_I have lost my control! I have lost my control!_

_And when I've lost it...then I have lost everything.._.

He turned around and walked away. No. That was wrong.  
His body turned around and walked away, while Grin himself would have liked to apologize, to explain. But he couldn't. He could just feel the piercing glance of Nosedive in his back.  
No way to turn his head and look back. No way to cry. No way to...fight...defend...

Lost...control....And Grin remembered....

_**Back on Puckworld, years ago:**_  
_"I've caught you! It's your turn!", the little duck shouted and cheered. Three other kids applauded and Grin groaned. It was always him, always when they played hide-and-go-seek. He was just too big to find a good hiding place, unlike the other kids. But nevertheless he did like playing this game, and the wailing and grumbling was only fake. Nearly every afternoon he met with his friends in the street. They lived in a big city, and there was no park in which they could play peacefully, but somehow they had arranged themselves. In the streets, you could play as well...there were many interesting places, and the five kids who all lived in the same neighbourhood could play for an eternity - often forgetting to come home for dinner. And they could never understand why all the adults walked by without noticing the many interesting things - sometimes even treasures! - on the street. Every paper was examined, every stone turned around, looking for bugs or maybe...something magical. They did never found something magical, but they didn't care. They were all of the opinion that the hunt was far more interesting than the goal!  
Grin was the oldest with his 8-years, but he certainly didn't act like that. He pulled the most pranks and did never take responsibility. He had a carefree attitude, loud and self-conscious. The other kids admired his ideas and his 'courage', but the actual leader was the 7-year-old Lea. Even Grin did listen when she order things in her high voice.  
However, it was this day something happened, something which caused Grin to loose control. He had never been aware of the fact that there was a kind of control....in fact, Grin was a really strong kid. He did make sports regularly, and he wanted to make sports to his profession later. A boxer - that would be great! But the writer is trailing off, isn't she? (Sorry! Tend to get carried away!)  
On this particular day, new kids entered the scene. They had never seen them before; they were about two or three years older and looked rather mean. Grin and the others assumed that they came from the slums which weren't far away, probably some streetkids, and they thought it would be the best to avoid them. But unfortunately the other kids didn't want to avoid them..._

Grin wanted to close his eyes, but the icy voice, who had also the command of his body, didn't let him.  
No, no, my dear it whispered You shall enjoy this. It's special, just for you. Live through the same memories....it doubles your pain  
And the only thing the giant duck could do was to wait and to watch the mental images his brain was producing, images he didn't want to see, at least not in this way! The memories of the previous event were to fresh. He had learned to deal with his pain over the years, had even accepted it - had assumed that it was over, history, closed! But now, when he found himself weakened, vulnerable, he discovered that old wounds _do_ break up easily...and he didn't want that to happen...For he knew that meditating alone wouldn't help to recover!

_Grin stared at the other kids in shock. Never in his life the boy had seen so much violence in the eyes of a child! It hurt to watch them. But even more hurt the fact that the leader of the other kids had his friend. There was no reason, nothing! Neither had they insulted the other kids, nor had they done anything provoking. But this...jerk had just grabbed his friend Michael, who was just six-years-old, and shaken him like mad. He felt anger rise.  
"Why are you doings this?", he shouted.  
"Because it's fun.", was the lame reply, and his temper started boiling. He was frightened of these kids, but they were hurting Michael! And they were so much stronger....Grin wasn't stupid, and he knew that he had no chance against these kids. 'Rats tend to fight in groups' he thought and clenched his teeth.  
"My, are we weak. It's time for some doll-beating!", the older boy grinned - and slapped the young duck over the face. Grin balled his fists. Now he was boiling....and his fear was melting away like ice in the sun. These...they hadn't done anything, it was UNFAIR...why was there no adult to help them? Why didn't they run for help? Furious he stared at the duck. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that Michael was crying...and that blood was dripping down his lower lip.  
And that did it. He screamed and seethed with rage. He had never felt such an immense hatred in his whole life, and the feelings were too much for an 8-year-old. Blindly he stormed on his enemy._

_From this point on, everything was blurry. He remembered screams and blood, images of crying faces, voices pleading him to stop...and in the end strong arms grabbing him.  
He just felt the rush of the feelings, the fury which was overtaking his body. His mind. Full of hatred and a violence which made him shudder.  
The next thing he remembered clearly was his bed at home. And his father looking at him. Sadly. Disappointed.  
Frightened.  
He blinked, because he hadn't believed the last impression, but when he looked again, he had to accept that it was true. And then he asked what had happened. His father told him. And he didn't believe it.   
He had fought. Like in war. And four of the other kids were in hospital - broken bones, bruises, everything. The kid had beaten them together like nothing. And he didn't even remember it!!!  
That was the point he started to be scared of himself. The point he realized that he needed control, because he didn't want to have anything like this happen again. He didn't want people to be frightened of him.  
Even his friends didn't want to have contact with him anymore - they had seen him in action, and that had been enough to scare every kid. The idea that his friends avoided him hurt greatly, but he had to accept their will. And it strengthened his decision to gain - and to keep - control. It was hard, and it took many years, many failures and mistakes until he reached his current state.   
A state of absolute control!_

The control you've lost the voice added, again invading his thoughts.  


You failed - again. And this time it wasn't an enemy you hurt - it was a friend. A dear friend, I might say. Aren't you ashamed? Now they will point at you. Point at you and say 'Look what he did! He's a monster!' it chuckled.  


They will fear you

Grin wanted to shake his head, wanted to cry NO, but he still didn't have the control back. He was a marionette, the marionette of an unknown player. It was even worse than when he was young, because there it had been his fault...HE had been the monster! Now he knew that the cause was a different one, he was the victim this time. But this didn't change the fact, that his body had beaten Nosedive, that the teen had seen HIM approaching, grabbing him by the collar and doing this. He would believe that it had been Grin.  
If he just could tell him what really had happened...  


"Grin, what are you doing here?", another familiar voice asked, a voice Grin recognized immediately. No! He groaned.  


"Grin?", Wildwing asked cautiously and stepped nearer. "I-I met Nosedive and he told me that you had hit him...but that's not true, is it? You would never hurt anyone on purpose, I know that...", he looked at the huge duck and Grin flinched as he realized what this look was meaning.   
Wing was trusting him.  


Although he had seen his brother, although he trusted Nosedive as well, he couldn't bring himself to believe that it had been actually Grin who had done this. He knew the duck for so long time, had watched him in many battles. He would lay his life in the hands of Grin.  
Grin recognized this look and couldn't help but feel happy about it. But the happiness vanished fast, for he realized that he still wasn't the Grin he used to be - and that most likely Wildwing would lose his trust the moment his body would decide to hit him, like he did last time. Again the memories of the faces of his friends flashed into his mind, and he flinched. He didn't want to experience this a second time. He...had felt so alone back there. But nobody had understood him - everybody had assumed that he, as big and strong as he had been - had no problems, no worries. No emotions.  
So he had learned to suppress them.   


"Grin?", carefully the leader stepped nearer, "Can you tell me what happened? It's certainly just a mistake...", pleading eyes bored into his, begging him to say yes, to confirm that it hadn't been him, that he earned his trust...'It was a mistake!', Grin wanted to yell, 'There's some power controlling my body', but sadly, the power was still there and he could already feel how it lifted his arm....He fought against it, with his will, with his power, with everything he had, but it was still stronger. Too strong.  
His fist balled, and Grin watched in horror how his left fist hit Wildwing right into the face, causing the other duck to turn around and to gasp in shock. 

_I don't want to let this happen, I don't want to..._

"Grin!", Wildwing yelled, half-angry, half-surprised. "Why...", he stared at the other duck and noticed a strange luck in his eyes. Narrowing his eyes, he stepped away. 

_Have to get back control, must get control, suppress your feelings, control them_

"We are friends, Grin.", Wildwing stated shocked, still not being able to believe what had happened, "I didn't do anything! I thought that maybe Nosedive had been mistaken, but....why?", he asked finally, and Grin could sense the confusion - and the sadness - in his voice. He had always liked, accepted and even admired Wildwing. He had never been trained, but he was a very good leader. He was a courageous fighter, and unlike Grin, he never became too angry. He had never an...outburst. Like him. Like now.

"Grin....", Wing said one last time, his voice trailing off. "What is wrong with you?"

The huge duck wanted to look away, but there was something which kept his stare. When he read the feelings appearing on Wing's face, he could recognize anger, surprise, fear and....trust? No. Nobody had ever trusted him after he had done something like this. They had left him - always. They had been frightened, and they had been right to be so. In his presence they could be hurt - hurt by him!  
So why this trust? Hadn't he lost it with this action???

_Sometimes there is no other chance_

_You have to choose the way_

_The way of your deepest fear_

_And you have to walk down the path_

_Although you are frightened_

_Because it depends on you_

_May the fear overcome you_

_May the pain cross your brain_

_But do what you have to do_

  
Why couldn't he fight? Why couldn't he regain control? His will had always been strong. Stronger than others. Stronger than the most. So why?  
Then an idea struck him, and he grabbed for it. His whole life he had tried to bury his emotions and his anger in fear off having an outburst, off revealing the destroying powers he beared. Now, in his current situation, he still had his feelings under control, but had lost another control. So why not...why not trying to stop the suppressing? Maybe his anger would be big enough to destroy his invisible shackles! But maybe it would also overtake control, leaving him helpless again and maybe hurting his friends even more...he had to admit that he was frightened.   
But...he couldn't continue like that. He couldn't let this voice win! And suddenly, something started boiling.  
Furious.

_  
Sometimes there is no other way_

_To face your fear_

_To fight your fear_

_Than welcoming it_

_And embracing it with your arms_

  
The eerie silence was disturbed by a heart-breaking scream. Suddenly all the grey ducks in the streets stopped and looked around. Wind howled over the place, giving the whole scenery a creepy impression. It was getting cold, cold and dark. The huge houses seemed to vanish in the grey mist. The scream trailed off, and it went silent again. There was nothing which moved, not even a single leaf. As if the scream had shocked even nature.   
And it screamed again. Nobody knew the cause of this; nobody who couldn't see the huge duck in a small side street. He had grabbed his head and was screaming louder than every possible.  
It was Grin.  
There was something burning in him, something which had been there over all the years, and now it could finally break free. Buried feelings came to daylight with an immense power.  
Grin himself did just feel the anger. He felt more angry than every, and he fought. Fought to regain his will, his CONTROL. It was the first time in many, many years he didn't suppress his feelings.  
He had lost control in order to gain it.  
And it seemed that the fight was a hard one. But one thing surprised Grin: There was no hatred. None at all. He felt greatly disturbed by the fact that somebody had invaded his thoughts, but he didn't HATE the voice.  
While fighting against his darkest emotions, Grin realized that he couldn't hate this voice. Because you can't hate yourself.  
In fact, this was a fight inside of him. Years after years there had been a strong power in his body, and he had always believed that it was all the anger. And he had always feared the outburst.

But what if all these anger had been there because he HAD never shown his feelings? Because he did bury them?  


Then it was his own fault.   


Then he had chosen the wrong way.  


Had he?  


Show your feelings? Live your fears? Being vulnerable?  


Really?  


He wasn't sure.  


But maybe....maybe it could be right. It was a small glint of hope.  


But Grin took it.  


One last terrifying scream echoed over the city, then there was silence. If the other ducks had seen their team-mate, they wouldn't have believed that it was Grin.  
For them, their strong friend had always been the calm point in all this chaos. He had always been the one of whom you knew what to expect. He would always help you, and he would never, ever, loose patience.  
This duck was different. Kneeling on the dirty side-street, he held his head and clenched his teeth. There was a look of absolute horror in his eyes. But there was also something else. Something mighty!  


It was like fire. Hot and destructive.  
Burning. Flaming.   


Angry.

* * *  


And again the screen went black. This time Dragaunus was definitely angry. He growled, and smoke came out of his nose. These ducks....they were annoying, even if they couldn't move! How was that possible? he had have many enemies in his long life, but to be honest, none of them had been so resistant and annoying like these six creatures!

"Chameleon!", he barked and searched for the small lizard.  
Carefully he came nearer, already sensing that it wouldn't be good. "Yes, my lord?"

"Put this thing on....NOW!", his master yelled and glared at him. Chameleon shrunk back and tried to make as small as possible. "But I don' know what happened...", he admitted, avoiding to look into the eyes of his lord.

"What was that?", Dragaunus' voice was a dangerous whisper.

"But I can ask Wraith!", Chameleon added hastily and already ran backwards, eager to find someone else on which Dragaunus could led on his anger. He ran through the corridors of the raptor until he reached the dormitory of the wizard.

"Wraith!", he yelled and opened the door. "There's a problem with your machine!"

"What?", the bigger lizard asked and stared down on Chameleon. "Not again!", he groaned and stepped out of the door.  
"Dragaunus won't be too happy.", he murmured while walking slowly towards the great hall.  
"Nope, he isn't!", Chameleon grinned. "That's why I searched for you.", and he vanished in another corridor, well knowing that it was never good to anger the wizard and to stay near.

"My lord, you called?", Wraith bowed as he entered and faced the huge saurian.

"The screen is black again!", Dragaunus just growled and pointed to it.

Wraith scratched his head. "Well, it seems that another duck has found a way to fight his fear.."

"WHAT!!!", Dragaunus suddenly yelled. "How can they do that? You can't fight against your fears, because they are in you - they belong to you! It's impossible to win - they should suffer, they should kill themselves!!! Tell me, WRAITH, IS THIS MACHINE WORKING OR NOT???"

Wraith gulped. "My lord, I have no idea how this all happened...."

His master waved his excused off. "I don't want to hear it. I give you two hours, and you will try to find the mistake and to repair it. Understood?"  
And he left the room, leaving a wizard who had suddenly a lot of more problems than before.

  
* * *  


When Grin opened his eyes for the next time, he felt confused at first. What had happened?  
He remembered the strong feelings and all the anger he had felt and he shuddered. He was certain that he never wanted to experience that again.  
Then he noticed something different. He had opened his eyes. He had - shuddered?

He was moving his fingers! HE! HIMSELF! Weakly he balled his fists and watched them. Wasn't it strange? Such a small movement....and yet it had taken him so much to reach it. Usually moving his hands was so normal - you don't even notice how precious this gift can be. Being able to move. To walk. To run. To see and to hear. Being able to talk. Small things in a simple life, but if you lose them, there's a hole which will never heal. And then, it's too late. But....it hadn't been too late for him!

He had regained control!!!

Grin smiled. He had managed it! Against all doubts and fears he had managed it!   
He stood up and brushed the dirt away from his pants. Scanning the area, he wondered what he should do the next. This wasn't the real world, so much was clear. But it wasn't a dream either. So what? He stood silent for a moment, and then he knew what he had to do.  
Nosedive. And Wildwing! Unforgivable what he had done to them, but still he had to tell them his excuse. He wouldn't run away, no , he wouldn't. he had done it once, in the past...he hadn't wanted to see his friends - had told his parents to give them a letter in which he had written down how sorry he was. But he had never seen them again. Never! Three weeks later they had moved, and the past stayed past --forever!   
But not this time! He would change it, he would tell them sorry - immediately. Maybe they wouldn't forgive him - but at least they knew about his feelings.  


"Hey Grin...", a soft voice whispered, and the huge duck turned around.  


Two figures were standing on the other side of the street. The wind howled again, stroking over his face, causing him to shudder. It was not really cold...it just felt somewhat strange...and nice!  
The sinking sun brightened the side-street, making the usually grey scenery colorful.   
And Nosedive and Wildwing smiled.  
Minutes passed until Grin found his words. Now while facing his friends, he found it extremely difficult to gather the courage to say something. Embarrassing and painful memories flashed through his mind, but he shove them away.  


"Wing...Dive...", he finally croaked out. "What I did earlier....I didn't mean it. I would never hurt you...and I am truly sorry." he lowered his gaze and closed his eyes.  
"I know that what I have done is unforgivable, but I hope that you believe me when I tell you that I didn't want this to happen. I would never hurt anyone of you on purpose - you are far too important to me - but I wasn't myself on this special point of time. I didn't have control...If you hate me, I will accept it - and understand it. But I want you to know that I regret it, more than everything, and if there was a way to change the past, I would take it....never mind how high the prize would be!"  
Slowly he looked up, expecting to see disgust and hatred in the eyes of his friends - but all he could see was a friendly, warm smile on their faces. A smile? They smiled to him after what he had done? He gulped. Then Wildwing stepped nearer.  


"We know, Grin. We know.", he laughed and waved with his hands. "I always knew. And so did Nosedive.", the teen nodded.  
Grin blinked. "What? You knew that I didn't have control? But - why?"  
Wildwing's eyes were sparkling. "Because I am not the real Wildwing. I am just an imagination...an imagination of your mind, created to fear and to destroy you."  
"And because of that", Nosedive added, "You did never hurt the real Nosedive and the real Wing. They don't know anything about this. You just created us out of memories."  
The huge duck stared at them. "So this all isn't true...like I expected..."  
"Now it's your turn to fight and to find your way. To flee. To wake up.", Wildwing stated seriously. "But how?", Grin wanted to know, but the words came too late. With a soft 'pouf', the two figures disappeared without a trace. And the street was empty again.  


Grin frowned, confused about the whole development of the situation. But then, when he replayed the scene in his head, he started grinning. Fleeing. Right.

He would fight. And he would get out of here. Back to reality.

_  
Sometimes there's no other way_

_You have to face your fear_

_But sometimes_

_It can be that your greatest fear_

_Won't be as bad_

_As expected_

_And you'll realise_

_That you can be stronger_

_That you can win_

_Against your fear_

  


**To be continued....**

_I know that it was lame*weak smile* I will try to improve the next chapter!!!!** ~Kaeera**_


	4. Hidden rooms in your mind

**Notes**: It's Duke's turn. Yay. Okay, I did invent everything in this story, but I couldn't find another fear. First I wanted to write that his fear is being treated differently because he's a thief - but he has been a thief for so many years, he should be used to this. Then I got the idea with the rooms. I wanted that he visits many rooms, and in each of them something which frightens him. Hehe. But then I started writing, and after the second room I had already 3500 words - and no ideas. So that's the result. And I won't call it lame, because you all will kill me if I do. Just one explanation why I thought that the last chapter is/was lame: I wanted to write Grin's meeting with every duck, but I just managed Wildwing and Nosedive. I wasn't happy about it, but my inspiration was gone...*shrugs* That's why I wasn't satisfied with it. Oh well. C'est la vie...

* * *

**To Face the Fears**

_by Kaeera_

**Chapter Four: Hidden rooms in your mind**

It was dark. Dark and cold. The duck blinked and tried to recognize anything in the gloomy light. It was a building made of stone - he could feel the wall under his hands, on both sides. A corridor?  
The grey duck stepped forward, his eyes accustoming to the darkness, making out contours, shadows and lines. It wasn't that dark, he noticed, more of a grey light. He could see doors, many doors, every single one of them different. Some smaller, some big, some wooden, some stone.

Duke opened the nearest door and stepped inside. And he froze.  
There, in a strange light, was standing a male duck, staring at him. Time stopped for the ex-thief. He wanted to scream, wanted to shake the person, wanted to run away, but he did nothing. He couldn't. In those many years he had believed that this person was dead, would never come back. That it was over.  


But there he was, looking at him with these disappointed eyes, these tired, old and disappointed eyes. Something else was glimmering in them, and deep in his heart he knew what it was, but his brain didn't want to accept it.   
For the first time in many years, Duke panicked. He spun around, ran out of the room and closed the door. He looked frantically for a lock, but there was none, so he ran. Raced down the corridors, his heart pounding, eyes wide of fear and horror. He ignored the surroundings, blind of panic, just one thought in his mind: "Flee!"   


Everything became a blur, and the only sound he could hear was his heart. Loudly in his ears, and he feared that he would hear it and find him. Some parts of his mind tried to stay rational, telling him that he was older, stronger now, that he could fight, but panic never listens to logic.  
His body would run until he couldn't anymore. Corridors passed by, more doors, many doors, some of them vaguely familiar, doors he had seen on places all over the universe. Green doors, red doors, blue doors, yellow doors. Iron doors. Plastic doors. Glass doors. Doors which were no doors, but holes. Duke registered all this, but he couldn't make something out of it. Flee. Flee.  
FLEE!  
Running is the only way to escape. Hiding. Forgetting. RUN! 

And so he did. Duke, master-thief, comedian, oldest of the mighty Ducks, experienced fighter, ran away from a picture, a picture of a man, a single person, more frightened than ever.

_Fear_

_Is what we associate with it_

_Some people fear the darkness_

_Things you can't see_

_Claustrophobia, Fear of Heights _

_Panic arises_

_But there's no logical reason_

_It's just there_

_But Fear_

_can be different_

_Things you can hold, you can see_

_People_

_Animals_

_Objects_

_Making us unsure, making us afraid_

_Leaving us paralysed_

_Because there IS a reason_

_to be frightened..._

  
**One hour earlier:**

"Uuurgh", could be heard. Duke groaned and opened his eyes. He blinked in confusion and yawned. Why was he so tired? "Urgh", he made again and sat up.   


"Oh, wonderful.", he said sarcastically when he realized where he was. "A white room. Just what I need." And indeed, he lay on the ground of a very white room with no furniture in it. Empty. Deserted. Duke smiled a little bit: "This is it, huh? I am finally mad. Yeah. I always wanted to reach this state! Now I can compete with Nosedive!", he chuckled and stood up. The image of the blonde teen popped up in his head, and he laughed even more.   


There was only one door, which was - of course - white, too. Duke examined it and decided that he could just open it - or he would just die of boredom. But as soon as he moved his hands, a sudden voice interrupted him.  


I wouldn't do that if I were you it stated simply.  


"Why?", Duke asked curiously, his hand frozen in the air.  


Because it will destroy you.  


The duck watched the door carefully. "Is there a bomb?", he wanted to know. "I don't see anything."  


Not a bomb  
More terrible. Something which will destroy your mind, not your body.  


Duke snorted. "If you destroy my mind, you have to destroy my body, not? This is stupid. You just want to keep me in this room."  


Of course. Because here I could watch you slowly becoming mad. Outside, there are different dangers. It will be my pleasure to watch them, too, but I would have preferred this. it snickered. Honestly, it snickered! A sound Duke didn't like...a head without a voice: okay. A voice without a head: maybe okay. But a voice without a head and snickering?? No. Not good. 

"Hahaha.", he mimicked. "I go where I want to. A stupid voice won't decide about me. Hey, I can still leave. Maybe there'll be some dangers out there, but I'm prepared. I have my saber...", he looked down at his body and continued; "Or maybe not, but I can fight with my hands, remember, I've been a thief...", the grey duck noticed that he was babbling. "Ehm, what I wanted to say is: You can't stop me. I am a Mighty Duck! And it's not that easy to scare me!", he finished and grinned triumphantly.  


Scaring you? Why not?  


The voice echoed in his head, coming from all directions. Duke turned around, looking for a loud-speaker or something like that, but the only thing he could see were the white walls. 'Annoying', he thought. 'I hate white. It's boring. Cold. And easily made dirty!'  


Doesn't everyone have his own, personal fear? Something which scares you? Frightens the hell out of you? Panic. Fear. Can't you feel it? It's in your heart, Duke. Grey duck, great thief, you believe that you are strong? But there's something. You know it. I know it. Don't act as the strong man. It will just help me to destroy you  


"I am not acting.", Duke announced. "And honestly, this whole thing is truly annoying. I bet it's some stupid prank by Dragaunus - ol'lizard lips could have thought of something better, huh? White room, really, that's old. He wants me to think that I am crazy.", he rolled his eyes. "But he has forgotten one thing - I already know that I am crazy.", Duke smiled evilly.   


Don't joke about such things. They will backfire on you. Faster than you expect...  


"Pöh", Duke made and shrugged. "Let them backfire. I don't care." he pointed to the door. "BUT I will leave now, never mind what you are saying, stupid voice! White is an uncomfortable color, and I really hate it. And if something dangerous is out there...I have been a master-thief for many years, and I fought in the rebellion against the saurians...I can defend myself. So stop this stupid play and KEEP SILENT!" with these (famous last) words he opened the door and left.  


The voice snickered again, this time with a certain amount of satisfaction in it. Sure, you can defend yourself. But what if your enemy is... it continued laughing. And the door slowly closed without a sound. 

**Now:**

Duke stumbled against a huge metal door. He was breathing hard, sweat glittering on his forehead, but the haunted look in his eyes didn't go away. Frantically he searched the area around him, ready to flee the moment he heard, saw, smelled anything. He resembled a small animal, the grey duck, an animal which was fleeing its biggest enemy. And in a way, this was truth. The person in this room....he had always been his greatest fear. But never he had thought that it would panic him like that; he had believed that he was grown-up now, could defend himself. After all he was strong and smart. His enemies had been far more tougher than this guy...and yet, he still was there, panting, nearly crying.   


Lost.   


Alone.  


Oh, how he wished that his friends would be there. But then again - the idea that they saw him in this state wasn't a very pleasant view. They would think that he had lost his mind. No.  
Had he lost his mind?  
He shook his hand and touched slowly the door. Huge. Metal. Cool Metal. He leaned his head on it and sighed. What now? What should he do? He couldn't go back. No. He couldn't!  


So he had to find another way. Which one? Was there any way?  


Suddenly the door opened and Duke fell inside. Quickly he rolled on his feet, back to the wall and scanned the room. The scenery let him froze.  
He was standing in a small and dark chamber. A small bed with old and dirty blankets filled one half of it; in the other was a small cupboard with some clothes in it. The air smelled old and bitter; and there was just a small window with dirty curtains.   


Duke slowly walked into the room, touching everything as if he believed that it was a dream. And indeed, it had to be a dream, because this room was a shadow of his past. Long, long time ago he had known this chamber, had even lived in it, and had hated it. But with the time, the images had faded. Now he had to face all the memories again, which were flooding his mind, and it was enough to give him a headache. Duke sat down on the bed and stared into the space.  


His room...in the old house. With four other kids.   
Streetkids.  
And they had learned how to steal...

Then the door swung open, revealing a dirty child who fell on the ground. It was a young duck, maybe 11 or 12 years old. He was grey and thin and...  
It was himself, Duke realized and gasped. That was him! Him in his childhood! Small Duke L'Orange! He rubbed his eyes and looked again, and there! It wasn't a dream.  


The younger duck was sitting on his knees, head bowed, some grey strains hanging in his face. "It's not my fault...", he whimpered and curled up into a small ball. Another duck entered the room and watched the boy with an icy glare. "Not your fault?", he mocked. "Stupid little brat! You have to work harder if you want to be treated better! You are living in MY house, living of MY money, eating MY bread. I taught you how to steal, now do it! It's time that you earn something!"  


"But the people notice me....", the boy sniffed and crawled away from the large man, until he bumped into the wall.  
Duke assumed that it had to be some twisted form of memory, for they both didn't seem to notice him, but still his heart was breaking. Memories which should have been forgotten came back into his mind, and he felt something hot running down his cheek.  


Tears.  


Duke was crying. Something he had stopped many, many years ago.   
And so was the younger Duke - sitting in his corner and sobbing of fear. He knew what would come. And he didn't want it. But there was no way to escape...never...  


The man grabbed the boy and hissed: "Don't dare to say anything. I collected you from the streets, gave you a home, and that's the thank??"   
Little Duke just sobbed, eyes huge of suppressed emotions: "You didn't give me a home!", he spat of with the last bit of strength he had kept. "You used me! You told me that I would have a better life with you! You betrayed me!", he cried. "This is not my home. I've never had one. It broke apart years ago, and nobody can repair it. I fled because....", he fell on the ground.  


The boy jumped back into the other corner of the room. The taller duck laughed. "I betrayed you. Oh, did I do something wrong to my little boobie?", he said in a sweet and false tone. Then his expression faltered from faked to dangerous. "I warn you, boy. You will get your next meal when you bring me five purses. Understood?"  
Duke nodded, and the door closed with a loud BANG! The small boy stared at it, his shoulders slumped. "You promised me...", he whispered, "Promised me that I would have it better. At home was a disaster. A living hell. And there was...", he shuddered, "...he..."

Duke, who had watched the whole scene, shuddered, too. "...he...", he mumbled, remembering the one and only person who had made out of his childhood a nightmare. His fear. And the person he had seen in the room. 

His father.

_He had actually never liked his father. But they had lived together, and well, it was kind of an accepting. Duke went to school, his father stayed at home or went to work.   
But then, things had changed. It all started with the alcohol. His father had always liked beer and wine, but even the small kid noticed that he drank more and more - and didn't stopped. He had been six-years-old.  
_

_Duke's mother was dead. Or away. He didn't know, because his father had never told him about her. There was just one picture, in the living room - a laughing woman with deep green eyes. Duke adored her, and greeted the picture every morning before he went to school. Although his life wasn't the best, Duke was a happy kid. He enjoyed the school, he had some friends, and every so often he would go on the streets and playing hockey with them. He was the fastest in the team, and he enjoyed it. Because his father didn't really care, he could stay out as long as he wanted. When he got home, there was always something to eat - old pizza, noodles or just a bread.  
_

_Sometimes his father got drunken. Not much in the beginning. Just once or twice a month - and when it happened, Duke hid in his room and waited until he fell asleep or left the flat. But then, the times came more frequently. The kid didn't know the reason for it; maybe he had troubles in his job, whatever, the man did never talk with him. But he did feel that it wasn't good, and often he watched his father with frightened eyes when he grabbed for the bottles. Once he had tried to hide all the alcohol they had at home. But his father had searched for him, threatening that something terrible would happen to him if he didn't hand them out. And he had hit him.  
Duke had never been hit in his entire life. And he was quite shocked. This was the moment he realized that something was going wrong. But it was too late. And Duke was too scared to tell anyone._

_His father continued drinking and stopped working. He was fired. They did only spent money on alcohol. No food, no clothes. With the days and weeks, he became thinner and thinner. But his father didn't notice. And when the boy asked if he could have something to eat, he just stared at him with these drunken eyes and laughed. A deep croaking laughter. Duke always shuddered when he heard it.  
A teacher finally noticed that something was wrong. But Duke, too scared and embarrassed, denied everything. He assumed that with the time, it would stop._

_This was the first time the haunted look appeared in his eyes._

_And it stayed, because the situation became worse and worse. Now his father did not only yell, but he did search for Duke, starting to tell him what a useless little jerk he was. He always tried not to listen, but it was hard, because his father had a very loud voice. Evening for evening he had to hear how much his father hated him, and it was enough to break his heart. He had never loved his father. And his father had never loved him. So why did it hurt so much?  
And evening for evening, his father would drink more. And more. Until he was in such a terrible state that he couldn't recognize his surroundings.  
He hit Duke. Hard. Until he was bleeding. Duke cried that night. Cried many nights. But nobody did ever listen. Nobody did care.  
The small grey duck was scared. He didn't want to come home, because he didn't want to face his father. So he stayed longer and longer on the streets or at school. And when he came home, his father would beat him, because he hadn't come home. The body of the child was full of bruises, and he was way too thin for his age. But the people didn't notice. They looked away - even the neighbours who could hear the screams. Every night. Screams of a small and frightened boy. Nobody ever came.  
_

_And so he stopped screaming.   
_

_Stopped calling for help.   
_

_Lived alone with his fear.   
_

_Days, Months and Years passed, and his life didn't change.  
Until one night, he made a decision. He would flee. His father, his greatest enemy and biggest fear, shouldn't have power over him anymore. He would run away, forgetting his past and beginning a new life. Without beatings, without alcohol. So 9-year old Duke ran away._

_Living on the streets is never easy. It's cold in the winters, hot in the summers. You have to hunt your own food, you have to care for yourself. And there aren't many jobs for nine-year-olds. The only improvement was that he was free - and that he didn't have to face his father anymore.   
But the haunted look stayed.  
And so he had gratefully taken the offer a man had made. "Come with me.", the larger duck had smiled. "Come with me, and you will have a home. I will teach you how to earn your own money. You will have a roof over your head, and there are some other kids like you. You won't be alone."  
He had hoped that he could live normally. And happily he had followed the duck to the old and grey house._

It hadn't been a home. It had been a trick of this duck. Duke sighed and leaned his head against the wall. The sobbing of his smaller copy filled the air. The large duck had been one of the best thieves in the city. And he had taken streetkids in his house to make thieves out of them. He taught them how to steal, and then they had to go to crowded places and steal purses. They did never get anything, just the food - and the small rooms. 

But stealing purses was only the beginning. For his great coups, small thieves were needed. Easily to manipulate. So he took the kids.   
And one of them, small grey and fragile, had been him, Duke L'Orange. He had stepped from one misery in the next. Years of hard training had changed the duck. But somehow he had managed it to keep his attitude - always a joke on his lips. He had realized that you could either take life as a big joke or as a serious thing. Taking it serious made him depressed, so he chose the other way.  


And although he had always a smile on his lips, there had been the fear deep in his heart. A fear of one man, who became bigger in his memories than he actually was. One man who had destroyed his life.  
Surprisingly he didn't feel any hatred. Maybe he was too frightened for that. Duke didn't know. What he did know was that the man was here. His father. 

How?

He was thousands of miles away from Puckworld, wasn't he? And this wasn't a dream, was it? So how? He had assumed that his father had died by now. Better, he had hoped so. Had buried the memories under his faked smile.  


No. Wrong. No faked smile. All the time he had lived with the other ducks - Wildwing, Nosedive, Grin, Tanya and Mallory - none of his smiles had been faked. In fact, he had enjoyed his life - and had simply forgotten about the person he feared the most.  
But now...now he was in this chamber. The chamber of an unlucky childhood. And he felt ashamed, because he had freaked out. Was still freaking out.  


"It's just a duck.", he told himself.  


"You are older now. Stronger. He can't hurt you.", cried the rational part of his brain. Duke shuddered and hugged his knees. What was wrong with him? He could just punch the old man and go away. He knew that he could do it! His father had never been the strongest.

And yet....Duke felt like he was still six years old, hiding in his room. Crying in the night. How could you fight such a fear? The panic was there, controlling him. 

Slowly he lifted his hand and watched it. Trembling. He trembled. Of fear? Maybe...he glanced at the boy, his younger self, who was still huddled in the corner. So many years had passed, and still nothing had changed? That couldn't be. No. He couldn't run away forever. He had to face his fear.   
But...so many buts...how could he face it when he was scared like hell?? It was impossible. Duke covered his face with his hands and sighed. What would the others think? He, the master-thief, the comedian, hiding like a kid? Nearly crying?  


They wouldn't understand. They didn't know how it was, this fear, this overwhelming panic. If they were here, everything would be better. He didn't know why, but he was always stronger when his team-mates accompanied him. Maybe because he couldn't stand it to be weak in front of others. Or maybe because they needed him to be strong.  


No. It didn't help to wonder what had happened or would happened if they were here. He was alone, and it was his problem. And he had to find a solution. Because he wanted to go back!  


A nagging voice deep inside of him told him that his only chance to flee was to go back. To enter the room in which his father stayed. To speak with him. Maybe fight. And winning.  


This would mean a fight against his fear. He had always been a good fighter. Why not? A small grin appeared on his face. What had the voice said? He would go mad? Why not?  
Better being mad than being scared. Better doing something than sitting in a corner.

Better facing your fear than running away forever.

The decision was made. And although he was frightened more than ever, he felt strangely relieved. Maybe his father would kill him - he had no doubt that he could do it. Maybe he would become mad because he couldn't stand the fear. Maybe his brain would explode. It didn't matter.  
He finally could do something. He would stop it. No more running away.  
One last time he glanced at the boy, then he stood up and walked to the door. Opening it, he turned around and whispered: "Farewell."  
Then he opened the door and stepped out.

  
_Facing your fears_

_Not by running away_

_Sometimes you simply have to stand up_

_And say 'No'_

_You have to stay_

_Although your legs are trembling_

_Although your mind is screaming_

_Facing it_

_Looking straight into the face_

_Of your fear_

  


He froze.  
His hand remained on the handle of the door, not moving the slightest bit. An awkward silence filled the corridor. Time seemed to stop, as the two opponents watched each other; one with an icy, the other with a frightened, but determined, glare.  
Gloomy light shone over the two ducks, revealing deep lines of worry and alcohol in the face of the older one. Duke stared at his father, regretting his decision. The same panic caught him again, and his legs wanted to run away. But he forced them to stay and to look into the face of his worst enemy.  
Minutes passed, and the silence grew heavier and heavier.

"Father...", Duke finally choked out, his hands trembling. He gulped. 

His father stared back and said: "Useless little brat.", like he had done so many times before. But this time...this time Duke felt something else inside him. Not only the fear, not only the embarrassment....the words formed on his tongue without thinking, and he spat out: "I am not useless! There's only one useless person in this building, and it's NOT me!"  


His fathers eyes grew wide, and Duke realized what he had said. Shocked he stepped back, recalling every single word he had spoken. Had he really...had he really said that? Had he insulted his father? Duke grinned. He HAD done it. And he was still alive.  


Then the words came faster and faster. "I hate you!", he spat out, both anger and happiness evident in his voice. "You've made the hell out of my life! You have destroyed everything I had, with your stupid alcohol. It destroyed YOU, and it nearly destroyed ME!!"

The fear disappeared, making place for the long buried anger. "The only thing I wanted was a normal family. But you...you lost your job! You started drinking! You never bought me clothes, or food, or books. You didn't love me....", tears formed in his eyes, as painful memories came back, but that didn't prevent him from continuing. "You have no right to be called FATHER. I have no father, and I will have none. And you can't no longer scare me. I am older now, older and stronger. I am a member of the Mighty Ducks, and I helped to save your world, my world. I have friends who are like a family to me. And you....you belong to the past. I don't want to see you! Go away!"

He breathed heavily, his finger pointing towards his father. The older duck looked at him angry. "I never wanted you! I didn't want to care for you! You've always been in the way. My wife died because of you! She died when you were born! You killed your mother!", his father shouted.  


Duke roared back: "You hated me because of THAT? I was a baby...believe me, if I could have changed it, I would have. Because she was certainly a better mother than you a father. But it's the past. And you had absolutely NO RIGHT to hit me. To scare me like that. Hell, I ran away from you - I lived on the streets. Even now I still have nightmares, sometimes. Nightmares of you with the bottle of whiskey in your hand. Hitting me, an innocent six-year-old. My world broke, father! You destroyed everything!!!"  


"But now", Duke hissed angrily. "But now it's over. My whole life I have been frightened of you. MY WHOLE LIFE! Do you know how long that is? You have the SLIGHTEST IDEA what a torture it was? No, you don't. You did never think about others, you selfish...piece of dirt! I won't run away any more. Look at me, father! I am taller than you! And stronger! I can easily hit you. You have no power over me. It's over!"

"You....", his father replied. Looking into the eyes of the worn out duck, Duke noticed something he had never seen there before.  


Fear.  


He had frightened his father? He HAD frightened his father. He...he had managed it. The panic had disappeared. Duke had won the battle against his fear...  
He grinned happily and said: "Switched roles, huh? Do you like it? Being the weaker one?"

His father stepped back. "I...never wanted this to happen...", he said with a broken voice, and Duke frowned. The man looked straight into the eyes of his son, and Duke could see tears shimmering in his eyes. "I never wanted it...", he repeated. The small figure started to disappear.  


"I'm sorry, Duke..."  


"Wait!", Duke shouted and grabbed at him, but it was too late. There was only air between his fingers. He stared down on his hands, a single tear rolling down his cheek.  


"It's over...", he mumbled. "I've done it. I have won. So why am I not happy?" He rubbed his eyes. "Maybe because I feel pity for him...", Duke snorted. "I feel pity, but I hate him. Isn't that strange? Well, at least I haven't panicked. I have actually faced my fear!" he beamed. "And I am not crazy. Well, maybe a little bit. Huh. Okay, a big little bit.", he laughed.

It was over.

**To be continued...**

* * *

Special Thanks To(wow, that sounds cool^^):  


**Dolphy**: For beta-reading all my chapters and picking out some of my stupid mistakes(I actually managed it to write 'Nosedibe'!! How stupid can someone be??) And for being the other German MD fan out there on ff.net! You're art rocks, girly-girl!!

**PapillonStar**: Cookies! Ehm...*takes a sip of coffee* For writing great stories and mailing me! MUSIC ROCKS! Hey, I want to see your story with Mandi! I am waiting*glares*

**Icelightning**: Thanks for the reviews^^ I love your story! And I DID continue mine, you see? It just takes some time...*coughs*

**Ottercub(or Lily C.)**: You reviewed every story of me! This is so cool! And the reviews actually help...I mean, there's constructive critisicm in it*laughs* Thanks a lot! Continue reviewing*hint hint*

**Angelfire**: Discussing with you is always great! And your stories are even better*smiles sweetly* THANKS A LOT!!! Hope your broken leg gets better!

**Prince Tyler Briefs**: I hope I did write the name right...you and your sister, you are cool! Thanks for the reviews*beams* They make me so happy!! *hands out cookies* You can give them to Puppetmon! But not all...I don't want that he (she?) gets sugar high! 

**Becks Michaels**: Last but not least. Your stories rock, girl, and I always enjoy reading your mails. Continue your basketball! Show them that MD fans are tough! Yeah!

AND A BIG HUG TO ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE REVIEWED^^ I know, I am pathetic, but I just finished writing this chapter, there's the music of our concert in the cd player and I am totally over-enthusiastic!! (It's like that when you hear yourself on a cd!) MWAHAHA!! And I ate too much sugar*dances* WUAHAUAHAUAH! Ugah!

  



	5. Shadow of the Past

**Notes:** Uhm..errr....sorry for the delay. Yeah. I actually thought that I could write a lot during holidays, but obviously...I didn't manage it. *sighs* Oh well. It's Tanya's turn, and I really thought a long time until I finally found a fear...well, hope you like it. Like Duke she's a little bit ooc, but I couldn't help myself...

Hey, another announcement! Guess what? Dolphy has drawn a pic of me - as a duck! It's sooo cool! Come on! Watch it - I've posted it on my website, with permission from Dolphy. Here's the link:** http://www.angelfire.com/comics/kaeera/images/kaeera_duck.html **  
And don't forget to read Dolphy's stories*hint hint*^^

* * *

_.__..failed...._

**To Face the Fears**

_by Kaeera_

**Chapter 5: Shadow of the past**  


The air was hot and sticky. Noises could be heard - of animals. Birds were chirping, loudly, a never ending sound. So many noises. Something was walking around, you could hear the cracking of footsteps. Insects were flying through the air, making buzzing sounds. Far away, a bird was singing a beautiful melody.  


Tanya opened slowly her eyes. The first thing she could see was the color. Green. Everything was green! She blinked a few times, and could recognize a tree with some parrots. Parrots? As far as she remembered, there were no parrots in Anaheim - at least no ones which were flying around freely.  


And the air....phew, it was hot! Really hot, and so...uncomfortable. Heavy. She had problems in breathing.  
The blonde duck stood up and brushed her trousers. Looking down on them, she briefly wondered, what all these dark little spots were doing there - and why they were moving. She examined them nearer and....

"Ahhhhhhhh!!! Ants!" she screamed, jumping up and down, trying to keep the little insects away. She ran a few meters, until she could see a lake. 

Without another thought, she jumped in it.  
SPLASH! The water was cool, a welcoming change of temperature in the hot jungle. Yes. Jungle. She was obviously stranded in a jungle. Tanya brushed the wet hair out of her face and analysed her current situation. She was in a jungle. Jungle, that meant many wild animals, many insects, and a very uncomfortable climate. She sighed and turned around. At least she had got rid of these ants...  


Tanya found herself staring into the face of a giant alligator.   


"Uh-Oh", she made.  


The alligator seemed to grin.  


"WAAAAAHHHHHHH!", quickly she scrambled out of the water and robbed away from it. Her heart was pounding. My god, where was she? Dangerous animals everywhere!! Tanya didn't like the nature. She was more a technic-freak. After all, computers never bit you....or made annoying noises....or produced stinky excrements. They were just simply hardware and software. Of course, they needed care, but it was enough to hold them clean. (Unlike Nosedive who insisted that his video game console could only function with enough chocolate in the system.)

Tanya wiped the sweat away and continued her lonely march through the jungle. Although her brain was working faster than ever, she didn't have a clue what had happened - or was happening. The last thing she remembered was this fight....and then? Darkness.  


When she had opened her eyes, she had been here. In the jungle. Maybe the saurians had teleported her to this place, in the knowledge that she wouldn't be able to survive for a longer time. Maybe. Although she really couldn't believe that. Dragaunus wasn't this kind of a person. He would make sure that his worst enemies were dead....by the way, where were the others?

The blonde duck made her way through the labyrinth of green plants and annoying roots. She shoved some leafs out of her way - and found herself on a big clearing. "Wha...?", she gasped surprised, noticing a big temple on the other side. It was really big; build of large grey stones with strange signs and pictures on it. It had to be very old, because trees and roots had managed it to grow through the stone in several places. But it still looked impressive, and she immediately had the same feeling she always had when she visited a church. This was a 'holy' place. Many hundreds of years ago human beings had built because of their believe to a certain god - or gods. And the place held something...important. She couldn't describe it.  


Slowly she walked towards the entry, the curiosity of a scientists overwhelming her respect. It was dark inside, and Tanya had to blink a few times until her eyes had accustomed to the darkness.  


"This is really interesting."; she muttered to herself, examining the wall beside her. "An ancient temple; I always wanted to see one of these. It must have been a high-culture, otherwise they couldn't have built something like this..." Tanya regretted that she didn't know more about the old cultures of Earth. Maybe she could have found out in which country she was.  
A dusty stairway lead into another room. Tanya hesitated for a moment, then decided to follow it. Maybe she could find something...useful.

And she did, indeed, find something. But it wasn't what she had expected.

After a few minutes, the stairway ended into a hall. A big hall. It was tall, without windows, but illuminated by a strange light.  
Five Ducks were hanging on the other side of the large room.

For the first few seconds, Tanya didn't even register them. She was far too surprised by this...unexpected discovery. Then she saw them. Mallory. Grin. Duke. Wildwing. Nosedive.  


They were hanging - hands and feet tied together - on the opposite wall. Under them was a huge gap in the floor, and above of them she could see a strange mechanism.  


"Oh my God!", she cried and rushed forwards. "Are you okay?"  
No response. Her friends didn't even open their eyes. Worriedly, Tanya searched for a way to get them back. Then she frowned.

If you fail, they will be dead. a cold voice stated.

"What? Who are you?", Tanya asked, spinning around and searching for her opponent. But she couldn't see anybody.

It's not important who I am. Who are you?" it laughed a little bit, and Tanya shuddered. "Why shall I tell you that if you don't give me your name!", she snorted, but couldn't prevent that her fingers were trembling. This whole situation was creepy and did slowly, but determined, destroy her nerves.

Who are you? it repeated. I know it. You are Tanya. A Mighty Duck who isn't so mighty right now. You are lost. Lost in a world you don't understand. And your friends are in danger. Can you help them?

"What do you mean by that?", Tanya wanted to know.

Did you see this mechanism over there? It means death for your friends. Every minute, it will turn this lens over there. Just a little bit. But when it had turned enough, it will catch the sunlight and direct it to the ropes on which your friends are hanging. You are such an intelligent duck, Tanya, you surely know what will happen then...

"It will burn the rope...", Tanya said shocked and clapped her hands over her mouth. "And then...they will fall down!"

Exactly. They will fall down. Into this big black hole. And do you know what awaits for them in it? Do you know? the voice growled triumphantly. 

Hundreds of pointy spears! 

"No....", she whispered. "I have to help them..." 

Help them. Do something. Because if you fail, they are dead. You won't fail, will you? Failures....are you a failure? and it laughed maniacally, leaving a very confused and scared Tanya alone in the temple.

_Failure_...over and over the words echoed in her head, bringing back forgotten memories. 'Calm down', she advised herself. 'This is the technology of an ancient culture, you should be able to find a solution.'

  
_Hands trembling_

_Because you know_

_That others depend on you_

_Pressure_

_On your weak shoulders_

_Can't fail_

_You have to know it_

_Have to find a way_

_But sometimes you just can't_

_can't find a way_

_No solution_

_People depending on you_

_Looking at you with trustful eyes_

_And you?_

_Letting them down..._

_trembling_

_crying_

_let them down_

_down_

_failure..._

_...failed..._

  


Slowly the female duck climbed the wall and examined this strange technology. Although she was scared like hell, she had to admit that these human-beings had been extremely intelligent. It must have needed them much time to build something that complex with their tools. Tanya traced the ropes with their fingers. She couldn't untie her friends; there was a special mechanism which would loose the rope as soon as she moved her friends. But she couldn't stop the lens either, because everything was connected - one movement, and her friends would be dead. It seemed impossible to free them...  


"Wildwing?", Tanya shouted in an attempt to wake her team-mates up. "Are you okay there? Mallory? Duke?" But she didn't get a reply. Limply they were hanging down, eyes closed. Maybe it was better like that; if they did wake up, they would freak out and start moving...which would cause their immediate death.  


"Oooookay", Tanya muttered, searching for her omnitool. Cold sweat covered her face when she noticed that it wasn't there!  
She had to do this with her bare hands...and suddenly, she doubted that she could do this.

T_hey will fall down and I will just stand here and watch...I can't rescue them, oh my god, I can't rescue them...they are depending on me, what am I thinking? I must rescue them...I must..._

Tears were streaming down her face; without her knowledge she had started to cry. Images of a long forgotten memory came back and haunted her; memories of a time in her life when she had been in an equal situation...and she had failed. Her hands were trembling when she tried to pull herself together. 'Don't freak out', she told herself. 'Stay calm. Think logically. Your friends don't need you crying. They need you strong and clever. Calm down!'

Tanya hiccuped a few times and breathed deeply. Okay. This was a problem. Every problem had a solution. Like in math. Math was logic. You just needed to think, to search for a new way. But it was always logic; unlike life. Numbers did never betray you, humans - and ducks - did. 'Regard it as if it would be a mathematical problem', she advised herself. '_Distance yourself. Don't think about your friends. Face the problem. Concentrate on it. Shut everything else out. This is just a problem. There's a solution. There's one...'_

Not so easy, failure duck the voice snarled suddenly, right now when Tanya had calmed down. She closed her eyes for a moment. _Concentrate on the problem. Shut everything else out._

You think you can manage it? Seems that I haven't frightened you enough... _Face the problem. It's simple math. You can do it. Don't listen to this voice._

Now let's see if you can calm down after you've seen this.... _I'm not listening. Recall this mechanism. Gears. Ropes. Sticks. There is a solution. Watch it carefully. Use your brain. Imagine every possible way. be creative. Work on the problem. Find a sol...._

"Tanya?", another voice chirped, and her eyes shot open. For a short moment, her heart stopped beating. She closed her eyes and counted till ten, then she turned slowly around.  


Tanya couldn't believe what she was seeing. She stepped backwards. "No...", her voice was a whisper, nearly inaudible, and she could feel something hot running down her cheek.

The little girl looked even smaller in the huge room. "Tanya?", it repeated again, eyes never leaving the face of the older duck. "Nicole?", Tanya gasped, still not trusting her eyes. The younger duck smiled a little bit, then her eyes became sad.  


"You are tall, Tanya...", she said.  


"Yes...", Tanya replied. "I've grown up..."  


"I never got the chance to grow up...", Nicole's voice trailed off, and she started crying softly.  


"I know...And I'm so sorry, Nicole...", Tanya stuttered confused. "But why...how...are you here? You...died..."  


"I've never gotten the chance to grow up. I've never been a teenager. I couldn't live through all the pleasures and depressions of love. I have never finished school.  


Tanya covered her eyes, trying to stop the crying. This was just too much...She was dead! Nicole was dead! Many, many years ago she died at the age of nine...she was dead!  


Was this a dream?

"I always wanted to become a doctor.", Nicole sobbed. "It's unfair. Why did I die and why did you live? Look at you, Tanya. You've grown up! You are tall...you are a woman!", she looked down at her body. "And I?"  


"Nicole...it was an accident...", Tanya started, but she didn't know how she should continue. How to calm down a dead person?  


"It was an accident??", Nicole yelled, tears streaming down her face. "Oh yeah, it was a stupid accident, but I thought you could fix it. You were so intelligent, so smart...why didn't you prevent it? Why didn't you do something against it? Why did you fail?"

_Why did you fail?_

Tanya balled her fists, her nails piercing into her hands. "I...I didn't want it...", she said with a shaky voice, "Nicole, I tried everything...I really tried...but I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry, Nic, so sorry..."  


"Don't call me Nick!", the girl shouted. "You used to call me Nic when we were friends, but we aren't friends anymore. You betrayed me, Tanya, and it did cost my life. You failed! You could have done something!"

_You failed...you were always so smart, you should have known that it was dangerous. You should have warned me. Or you should have called a teacher when it happened. But you just stood there_...

"I was trusting you! You were my best friend!"

S_he depended on you...and because of your incompetence, she lost her life. So young...not meant to die. Failure....Failure! FAILURE!!_

"You FAILURE!"

"Do you think I wanted this?", Tanya shouted back. "Do you think I wanted to kill you? You were my best friend, too, Nicole. I trusted you like you trusted me. And I really didn't know that it was dangerous....nor did I know what to do when it...happened...Months after it I cried myself to sleep, Nic. I felt so guilty, and I have been so sad because you left me. My best friend...and it was my fault! I didn't want to fail you, never...I didn't want to be a failure...It just...happened..."

"Oh, it happened...", Nicole answered coldly. "Well, your luck that it happened to me and not to you. Because you had the chance to live a happy life. You became smarter and smarter...learned many things...while I was dead. You lived, Tanya, you lived!"

"What was I supposed to do? Kill myself?", Tanya sobbed.

"This whole thing shouldn't have happened!", Nic yelled back. "You should have prevented it! YOU!"

_It was your fault. Your fault. Failure. Failure! FAILURE! Failed...let her down...let her hanging....failed! Your fault! YOUR FAULT!_

  


* * *

_Years ago on Puckworld:_

_"Hahahaha", the two girls laughed while they were wandering through the school. They both wore their hair in pig-tails; one had blonde, the other brown hair. "And it really happened?", the blonde asked, wiping tears of laughter away.  
_

_"Of course!", the brown-haired girl replied. "After it Jim was so furious that he closed Seth into the closet for over three hours. Poor Seth was pounding on the door and bouncing into the walls like mad, but Jim didn't let him go. You should have seen his face, Tanya, it was hilarious..."  
_

_"I can imagine it.", Tanya chuckled. "Nic, your family is so crazy. I love them!"  
_

_Nic grinned proudly. "Yeah, they are cool."  
_

_The two girls walked down a corridor, when they suddenly noticed an open door. Curiously they peered inside. "Cool!", both ducks gasped at the sight of the large class-room. There was a table on which many strange bottles and glassy things were standing.  
_

_"Do you know what that's for a room?", Nic asked.  
_

_"I guess it's for chemistry class.", Tanya replied, staring at the odd mechanics on the table. "Usually it's closed - students aren't permitted to stay inside of this room without a teacher.  
_

_"Wow!", Nic grinned, and her eyes started to glint with mischief. "That's the perfect possibility! We can look around and no teacher will notice!"  
Tanya thought for a moment, then she agreed. "Yeah!"  
_

_They both stormed into the room, looking at the bottles and examining every chair, every table and sheet they could find. Tanya read the names on some bottles and could just scratch her head. She had never heard names like 'Natriumhydroxid' or 'Kaliumpermanganat'. The short forms weren't better - what the hell was HCL(aq)??   
_

_"Look at this!", Nic announced excitedly and showed Tanya a brown bottle. "This stuff smells really disgusting! Like...old feet!"  
_

_"Let me smell!", Tanya shouted and ran towards her friend. "Uhhhh...", she made when she put her nose over the bottle. "Horrible..." Nicole snickered. "I wonder why they keep this stinky stuff. It doesn't seem to have any use..."_

_Then it happened. Her arm hit another bottle, while she was trying to place this one back on the table. The clear liquid splashed all over her arms - and her face. For a moment, both girls remained silent. Then Nicole started to scream.  
_

_It had been acid or whatever in this bottle, right now it was burning her skin, her face...and her mouth because she had accidentally gulped a little bit. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH", she screamed, voice full of terror and pain.  
_

_"Nic!", yelled a panicked Tanya and tried to help her friend. "Nicole!"  
_

_But Nicole didn't hear her. She was lying on the ground, thrashing wildly around of pain. Tears were streaming down her face, her eyes opened wide with shock and fear. "Help!", Tanya screamed horrified. "Somebody help!"  
_

_She didn't want to leave her friend. Nicole continued to cry and to sob. Suddenly she choked blood.   
Tanya stared on the red liquid on the floor, sobbing herself uncontrollably. "Nicole..."  
_

_Then she spun around, running out of the room, frantically crying for help. She noticed a teacher on the other side of the corridor. "Help!", she cried with a tear streamed face. "You have to help my friend! She's dying!" The teacher immediately ran towards her, and Tanya rushed back to the room.  
_

_"Help is coming, Nic.", she said and tried to smile. "They will help you!"_

_Nicole continued to scream in pain, blood flowing out of her mouth and her nose. There were several burn marks on her face. "Nic, be strong, they will help you...", Tanya tried to reassure the injured duck.  
_

_Suddenly she stopped moving. "Nic...?", Tanya asked, touching her friend. She heard footsteps behind her, but she didn't care. "Nic?", she repeated again, turning her friend around.  
_

_She stared into two dead eyes. Wide open and still reflecting the immense pain and terror...but dead. Tanya gasped, her hands trembling. "No....", was all she could get out, when two hands grabbed her and put her away. "Nonononono...."  
Someone lifted her up and carried her out of the room. "NICOOOOOLE!", she screamed, struggling against the strong grip. "NOOOOOO!!!"_

_But Nicole didn't reply. The girl lay on the ground, her broken eyes staring into the space. This eyes would never again sparkle of laughter. They would never see the rest of the world. Nic was gone._

* * *

"It was an accident, Nicole.", Tanya sobbed. "I wouldn't have done anything which caused you pain. You were my best friend!"

"I know...", Nic whispered, and her young face seemed to be much older. "But you didn't do anything to prevent it, either..."  


"I-I...", the blonde duck stuttered, but she couldn't find the words.

Then, all of a sudden, Nicole smiled - and started to cry. "Maybe...maybe you won't fail this time. Maybe your friends will have the chance I never had...to live. I just wish...that I could have grown up with you. That I could have stayed together with my friend...."

A soft breeze stroke through the room, and the form of the small duck started to disappear. Tanya could see through the child, and then she was gone, without another sign.

Tanya held out her hand, as if she tried to catch something...and she whispered sadly: "I do, too, my friend...it has always been a dream of me. Growing up together with you..."  


She wiped her eyes and sighed. This meeting had changed everything. She was afraid; back in the past she hadn't been able to help, and today it was exactly the same. What if she failed? What if her team-mates fell down and died? Pierced by spears. And she would hear the screams. Terrible screams, full of agony, pain and fear...like Nic had screamed. Had cried and sobbed.

She stared at the mechanism, trying to find a way to manipulate it. She wanted to touch some of the gears, but noticed that her hands were trembling. 'I can't work like that!', she panicked, 'I can't work with trembling fingers!' Again she tried to take deep breaths, but she realized that her feelings were just too intense. This meeting with Nic...had been the last strike. She didn't manage it to pull herself together - she had lost it. She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown - and there was no one to help her if she need medical care...or just someone to talk to. In fact, she was needed....she couldn't let her friends down. How many times had they saved her life?

"I can't do it!", she cried frustrated. "I can't rescue them! Nic was right....I am a failure!"

She fell to the ground and hugged her knees. Her whole body was trembling when she started to cry in heart wracking sobs. _I'm failing. I'm failing! I promised myself that I would never fail, and now...it's my job to help them, and I can't..._

How many tears... the voice echoed through her head triumphantly.

Such nice tears of sorrow. Are you too weak, Tanya? Aren't you clever enough? Can't find a way? Can't find a solution? You are failing! FAILING! and it laughed, a bitter laugh. Tanya shuddered when she heard it and continued to cry.

And around her, the jungle was full of life. Birds were singing, chirping, screaming; the sound of fleas and other insects filled the air. It was a beautiful place, full of life and strange things. Colourful plants as well as colourful animals. But the one duck didn't see all this wildness. She just saw her friends. And her sorrow.

* * *

"I like this!", Dragaunus stated satisfied and watched the screen. "Yeah. This one is great. So much fear. So much sorrow...awwww, there's nothing better than watching someone else's misery on a rainy afternoon!"  


"I agree with you, master.", Chameleon said hastily.  


"What's with the other three ducks?", Dragaunus wanted to know. "You know, these who managed it to fight their fear."  


"We've tranquillised them.", Chameleon informed his master.  


"Good.", the Saurian Lord snorted. "They managed it to win against their fears, but they won't win against ME!"  


"Of course they won't!"  


"Now...", Dragaunus waved with a hand. "Bring me some popcorn. I want to enjoy this one."  


"To your service, My Lord.", Chameleon bowed and hurried out of the room.  


"I love the fear...", Dragaunus growled. "Stupid human-beings and ducks. They are all the same; let themselves irritate by stupid feelings. Fear...HA! We Saurians don't know this, that's why we are the born rulers."  


He scratched his chin. "CHAMELEON! WHERE'S THE POCORN???"

  


* * *

_Hide_

_Hide yourself_

_Run away_

_Smaller_

_So that the world can't see you_

_Hidden_

_So that the world can't depend on you_

  


After an seemingly endless time span, Tanya finally stopped crying. Not because she wanted it. She just hadn't any more tears left. Dried out. Empty. Yes. That was her current state; empty. As if every emotion, even the smallest smile had been drained out of her body by a mysterious dark power. She knew that she wasn't acting normal; the Tanya who belonged to the Mighty Ducks wouldn't have cried like this. No. She would have thought about the problem, and she would have found a solution.  


But unfortunately, this wasn't the Tanya everybody knew. Parts of her were; but other parts...belonged to the soul of a small girl. A girl who had lost a very important person - a girl who was blaming herself.   


And so it was not a surprise that the blonde acted like this...all the strong emotions were simply too much. She looked at her friends, trying to convince herself that she had to help them - and then she suddenly saw the face of Nicole, staring at her with tears in her eyes and saying: _"I've never had the chance to live..."_  


And all her determination got lost...

"No....", she whispered. "I can't let something happen to them..." She stared at the lifeless bodies of her friends. And suddenly, memories came back...not memories of Nic, but memories of her friends and her life on earth...

_Wildwing wearing the mask and telling them their latest mission...ordering to 'beat ol'lizard lips up' and to be ready for the next hockey-game..._

_Nosedive eating the two-week-old taco and coming to her with stomach aching - insisting that it wasn't the fault of the taco, but of Mallory's attempt on cooking..._

_Mallory chasing Nosedive down the hall because he had toilet-papered her room....telling her that it was a 'nice way of decorating a room'....._

_Grin sitting in front of the TV and meditating...confusing the other team-members with his so-called-wise sentences... _

_Duke drinking in coffee in the kitchen and reading the Newspaper while Nosedive and Mallory are having a fight about life and death around him..._

_And finally...herself sitting in the lab and working with the computer...inventing new programs or playing solitaire on her computer (only if nobody of her friends watched - after all she was supposed to work...)_

She saw all this, and realized how much she missed her friends. If they would be here together...they would certainly find a solution. Together they were strong. Tanya could imagine it...Nosedive would made a smart comment, receiving a glare from Mallory...then Wildwing would tell them to stop the fighting. Duke would roll his eyes and mutter something inaudible, and Grin would make a wise comment like '_Hot air makes hot heads. Calm down, little friends.'_  


And she...would laugh about the stupid bickering and would try to find a solution. No. She would FIND a solution, she knew it. She always did find a way out when she was in a mission with the Mighty Ducks. Always.

Then it hit her. The reason why she couldn't work properly. Why her hands were trembling. Why her mind didn't concentrate.

Because she was alone. And when she was alone, her old fears came back. To fail. Her friends trusted her. It was always like 'Good ol'Tanya will find a solution'. They did never doubt it! And because of that, she trusted herself. She could view things in another perspective.

Tanya opened her eyes, and this time the look in her eyes had changed. Had changed from frightened to determined.  


"I can do this!", she balled her fists. "I'm not alone. I'm with my friends. They trust me, although they can't say it. But I know. Deep in my heart, I know it. And I won't let them down. I will prove that I earn their trust!"  


She stood up and shouted. "I will free them! I will find a solution! Because they believe that I can do it! And...I will believe it, too."  
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "I won't fail...."

  


_People depending on you_

_Looking at you with trustful eyes_

_And you?_

_Staring back_

_Smiling and saying:_

_I will do it_

_I can do it_

_Believing in you_

_Is a way to win_

_....don't fail..._

_....won't..._

Again she climbed to the mechanism, working with the gears. She thought that she had found a solution, and she feverishly worked on it. There wasn't much time left.  
And over and over again she had one thought in her mind: I won't fail. Tanya wore a grim expression, but there was also the glint of a smile in her eyes.

_Nicole....I'm so sorry...I wish I could have helped you. I always felt so bad about your death. But I really couldn't have done anything. It took me a long time until I believed this...but it's true. You were my best friend, and I will always miss you.  
But right now....right now I have to help my other friends. I'm sure that you understand. This time, I can help them...This time I can be faster than death.  
I will never be able to make up your death. I will never be able to undo this terrible accident. And I will never be able to give you a life...  
But I'm able to help these ducks. Five lifes, depending on me. I won't fail, Nic; I promise you that I won't fail. I'm doing it for you, for me...and for my friends._

_**I won't fail!**_

**To be continued....**

* * *

Was the ending a little abrupt? Ehm...maybe I'm leaving a slight cliffhanger here...ehehehe*scratches her head* In fact, I didn't know what to write anymore. Of course, this isn't the real time, they are just illusions. And Tanya has won against her fear, so that's basically the end of this chapter. Yeah. Kaeera signs off :)  
__


	6. My life, a whole illusion

**Notes:** Hello! My apologies...it took me long to complete this chapter. My life right now is in full-stress. The teachers are piling us with work; then there's orchestra and I have to study for Physics because this will be my last year in which I have it as a main subject, so I need good results. Plus my orchestra took part in a competition, which basically meant that I didn't have any free time left...  


Okay, I'm pretty sure that nobody of you guys is interested in my complains. Just read the next chapter....This time it's *gasps* NOSEDIVE!!! Yep, his time for the torture. Funny, when I wrote the story I just couldn't stop torturing him, that's because the ending comes a little bit suddenly. I really hope that this chapters fulfills your expectations....

* * *

_...and nobody likes me..._

**To Face the Fears**

_by Kaeera _

**Chapter 6: My life, a whole illusion**

  
THUMB!  


A tall, slender duck had just appeared in the air, and, following the laws of gravitation, had hit the ground quite hardly. He laid there, unmoving, while the wind was stroking through his blonde hair. "Ouch.", he then grumbled. "That hurt!"  


He sat up and looked around. "Woah.", Nosedive made, realizing that he was in the middle of Anaheim. "Hey, weren't we fighting? In the mall?", he stood up. "Helloooo? Wildwing? Mal-Mal? Duke?" Nobody answered his shouts, and he shrugged. Maybe he had been blasted to this place, whatever. The best would be to go back to the Pond and look for the others.  


Nosedive walked slowly to the city, pondering the problem, but not finding a solution. "Where is Dragaunus?", he mumbled to himself. "It's not like him to vanish like this. Hey, the last thing I remember was the gas and....", he stopped and frowned. "I was unconscious, I remember it exactly. But...why didn't he caught us? We were helpless, weren't we? It would have been the perfect chance." , he paced up and down the street. "Okay. Let's recall the events. I was falling down on the floor in this shop, and then everything was black. Obviously I have blacked out there. Meaning that I was lying on the ground. So....who has brought me into the street? Who has brought the others away?"  


He scratched his head. "Uh-uh. Difficult problems in the early morning hours (well, okay, late afternoon, but that's basically the same). I need a break.", the teen decided. "Time to visit Thrash and Mookie."  
He put his hands in the pockets, whistled a song and walked towards the shop his two friends owned.

"Hiya, guys!", he said as soon as he entered the shop. Strangely he didn't get a reply. Maybe they weren't there? But no, Mookie was standing behind the desk, reading in a book.  


"Hi Mookie!", Nosedive greeted the punk girl, but again he was ignored. "Is this a kind of joke?", he wondered amused and shook the girl. "Hey, anything in there? It's me, Nosedive, your crazy alien friend!"  


The girl didn't reply. She didn't react to his touch either...Nosedive stared at his hand, not believing what he saw. 

His hand...was directly going THROUGH Mookies arm! What the he...? The duck blinked in shock and jumped away. He shook his head. This couldn't be...he had been dreaming, hadn't he?  


Slowly he approached the girl and stretched out his hand. Mookie didn't seem to notice...and then _it happened again_! His hand went through her body, as if it was just air.

"Okay.", Nosedive tried to calm down, although is heart was racing. "There's certainly a logical explanation for this. There must be one...maybe you are hallucinating, whatever. Don't flip out, Dive."  


Nervously he paced around. "Fact is, Mookie can't see me, but I can see her. I can't touch her, though - what's that supposed to mean?", he ruffled frustrated through his blonde hair, suddenly missing his brother. Wildwing would have calmed him down....the big guy always knew what to do.

"THRASH!!", Mookie suddenly yelled, making Nosedive jump. "Where are the new Batman comics?"  


A voice from the backdoor shouted a muffled reply. Mookie sighed. "I don't understand you. Come out of your room!"  
Thrash stepped into the shop and repeated his previous answer. "I put them under the desk, because I haven't had the time to sort them into the shelves yet."   


Nosedive felt a little bit left out. A VERY little bit. Normally they would talk to him, make jokes....they would notice him. But now? As if he wasn't there...he could see them, but nevertheless he was alone. "Thrash?", Nosedive croaked out, not really expecting an answer. "Uhm, dude, I'm here, your old buddy Nosedive....hey, man, this isn't funny!"

Thrash frowned. "Hey, something is strange here..."

Nosedive perked up, a glint of hope in his eyes. The human-being scratched his head and turned to Mookie. "It's funny, right now I remember this strange customer we used to have....the alien duck, you know who I mean. What was his name? I forgot it...."   


Nosedive gasped. Thrash didn't remember his name? His best friend DIDN'T even remember his NAME?????", he felt incredibly lost and alone. But one moment, maybe he hadn't meant him, maybe he was talking of another duck....after all, there were six of them!  


The girl looked bored. "You mean the weirdo? With the blonde hair? Who acted like a spoiled brat all the time and thought he was funny?"  
Thrash nodded. "Yep, exactly."  


Mookie scratched her chin. "His name was as stupid as his behaviour. Nose...Nosehole? No, Nosewing? No, it was something different, like Nosedibe or so...oh yea, I remember, it was Nosedive!", she yawned. "I never liked him. He was annoying."

Four little words. Four little words put together in a sentence. _I never liked him_. They seemed so harmless, so small. Just four little words.  
But for Nosedive Flashblade, a world broke.

In stunned silence he stood in the middle of the shop, slowly realizing what his so-called-friends had said. They had forgotten his name. A spoiled brat...He couldn't believe it. For all the months he had lived here, he had considered the duo as his friends, who accepted him as equal. They had always greeted him friendly, had laughed with him, and he could tell them everything. Or so he had assumed. And now?? They...they didn't like him at all! They thought he was...annoying.  


There was a difference between annoying and annoying. Being annoying to other people, people he couldn't stand, was great fun. But knowing that his friends thought of him as annoying...although he had NEVER tried to act like that was downright depressing.

He felt something salty in his mouth. He was crying. Nosedive stepped back and cried to his friends: "I-I can't believe what you are saying. Well then... we have never known each other. It's over! I...you aren't my friends. Fine!", he stormed out of the shop and wiped the tears away. His goal was the pond. His brother would surely have a hug for him, or at least some reassuring words. He certainly needed them now...

_I can see you_

_But you can't see me_

_I can hear you_

_But you are deaf to my shouts_

_I can touch you_

_But you can't hug me back_

_I'm all alone_

_I'm with you_

_But I'm alone_

_alone in the crowd...._

His way back through the crowd was a horror trip. Nobody noticed him. Nosedive, who was used to get attention, found this deeply irritating. He was running through the streets and THROUGH the people. He was....like a ghost. For a moment he feared that he had died. That his body was lying somewhere in the mall, and his soul was wandering around. But he quickly shook off this thought. No! Nobody who was dead could think clearly. The teen had never believed in heaven, or in ghosts. When you died....you were dead. Over. Your life ends, and that's it. 

Maybe this was a dream....but he could feel it! When it was a dream, then why did it burn in his chest? Why did his heart hurt?  
Nosedive was confused, and his legs were carrying him to the only person he trusted enough to solve his problems; his brother Wildwing.

**************

Dragaunus roared and stamped through the corridors. This. Couldn't. Be. His plan had been perfect. A method of getting rid of these ducks. And in the beginning, it had seemed to work. They had panicked, they had given up...a very pleasant view on the giant screen in his room. But then....something had happened. Not only with one duck, with everyone he had tortured so far!

They had faced their fear....and they had won!

The huge saurian growled frustrated. If the ducks escaped, he had even helped them! He had helped them overcoming their fear!  
He balled his fists. No! He wouldn't let them escape. They were safe. They were unconscious and couldn't move. And....when he had finished torturing everyone, he would kill them all with his own hands!  


An evil smile appeared on his face. Yeah. He would do that.

"Siege!", he shouted and stepped into his room, glaring at the huge monitor. "I want to watch the next duck!"

"Very well, my lord.", the saurian bowed and pressed some buttons. He felt extremely nervous, because the last four experiments with the duck's fear had been a disaster.

"And Siege....", Dragaunus added in a warning tone. "This time I don't want to see a duck who wins....I want to see a duck who's lying on the floor and crying, who's breaking down. Understood?"

"Y-yes master.", Siege stuttered. "It will surely please you....I have chosen the youngest. Usually they are the weakest, it should be very difficult for him to escape the illusion."

"Good.", Dragaunus was looking forward to the video. "I can't stand kids, it will be a pleasure...."

*************

Nosedive rushed into the pond and panted heavily. More and more he felt like the main actor in a horror movie - with the only difference that he didn't knew it...  


"Well, I always assumed that my life was weird.", he mumbled. "But that it's THAT weird is ridiculous.", he walked to the living room. For a moment he hesitated, expecting something terrible, but when he stepped into the room, he just saw Duke who was sitting at the table and reading the newspaper. Nosedive breathed a sigh of relief and plopped down on a chair.  


"Man, Duke, you have no idea what happened to me today.", he told the ex-thief, but didn't get a reaction. "Oh no....", Dive waved in front of Duke's face, but the grey duck didn't even flinch. "Not you, too...."  


He gulped and stretched out his hand. Like before it went directly through the body, like air. Nosedive jumped up and stumbled backwards. His eyes were wide in terror. "NO! What is happening with me? Why does nobody see me?", he cried and slumped down on the floor. He looked at his hands, and they were flickering, like an old TV-screen - he could look through them!  


"This must be a dream....", the teen murmured, a wave of fear overcoming his mind. "It's creepy, I am a....ghost."  


He buried his head in his arms and tried to order his swirling thoughts. But whatever he did, he couldn't find any explanation for this. He didn't believe - didn't want to believe - that he had died and was a ghost. It couldn't be a dream either, it was far too real for that.

"Hi Duke.", a female voice broke into his thoughts. Mallory entered the room and threw a bag on the table. "Wow, this shopping trip was exhausting.", she told him and sat down on a chair.  


"Hello Mallory.", Duke greeted the red-haired warrior, not looking up from his newspaper.  


"It's really great being ignored from you two.", Nosedive said sarcastically. "Just what I always wanted...."  


Mallory frowned and turned to Duke. "Did you sense something?", she asked and looked around. Nosedive perked up. Had she heard him?  
Duke stared at her. "What shall I sense?"  


Mallory shrugged. "I dunno....it was strange. For a moment I heard a voice in my head, and then an image popped into my mind."  


"What for an image?"  


"Uhm....", she scratched her head. "A young duck, blonde....you know, the duck who was once a member of our team. With the big mouth and the small brain. What was he called....Nosedive?"  


"Oh, that duck.", Duke said with a hint of disgust. "You shouldn't waste your thoughts on such a loser."

_I can hear you  
I can hear you!_

_Why are you telling me things which break my heart?  
Why are you hurting me like that?_

_I can see you  
I can see you!_

_Why are you ignoring me?  
Why are you leaving me alone?_

"Oh, well, he was funny at first.", Mallory said thoughtfully. "But he was so useless. He's not even a fighter. Why did they bring him to the team? He was totally useless to us, just a nuisance..."

"He was a spoiled brat.", Duke pointed out. "He thought that he was the best, the funniest. But in reality, he could do nothing. Maybe he was a good hockey player, but that was all. And then he was always running to his big brother....the kid couldn't stand on his own feet! Totally useless!"

"True, true, true.", she sighed and dug in her bag. "It's just a luck that he isn't here anymore. I bet Wing is even more happier - he had always have to bother with this little brother of his."

"Oh yeah.", Duke laughed. "I will never forget the annoyed look on his face..."

  
_I can't touch you  
I can't touch you!_

_I want to sense you warmth, your presence. But I am alone. I see you, but I am unable to reach you...but you don't want to touch me, do you? You don't like me. You think I am useless. I am not worth being touched by you. I am not worth being in the same team with you. I am just....useless._

Nosedive put his hands over his mouth and tried desperately not to cry. He had never expected that Duke would say something like this. And Mallory...of course, he hadn't treated her very well, but it was kind of an acceptance between them. In fact he had always liked the fierce girl. And Duke had been like a second brother to him. The way he had called him 'kid', had given him advices or had just ruffled his hair - had it been a lie?  


Had he been so stupid?  


Nosedive's eyes watered, tears cascading down his face. And the things they had said about Wildwing...no! Never! His brother wouldn't abandon him, even if the others did. Wing had wanted him to come along. They had always been together, and he trusted him.  


Nosedive tried to wipe the tears away. He was scared. He didn't knew what was happening, but from one moment to another, his whole world had changed. Everyone, everything. And he was standing in the middle of it, still the same old Nosedive with a love for tacos and comics, not knowing how to handle this.

Another person entered the room, but the teen didn't notice it until a large shadow fell on him. He looked up and saw a giant duck in the door frame. His face lit up a bit. "Grin!", he shouted and stood up. "Hey, man, I just hope that you are the same...."  


Grin ignored him, like the others had done, and Nosedive's heart sank. "No...not you, too!", he pleaded. "We were always great buddies!"  


"A dark aura is clouding my senses.", Grin told the other two ducks and took a chair.  


"Translation, please.", Mallory ordered.  


Grin looked at her. "Something is annoying me."  


"Ah well. Maybe the same thing I felt.", she started to explain. "I had a strange feeling, and suddenly an image popped into my head....of this 

Nosedive.", the female duck pulled a face. "It's disgusting, but I can't get it out of my head."  


"Mysterious are the ways of the illuminated.", Grin commented. "In fact, I dealt with the same issue. This person is clouding my aura with dark memories I wish I didn't have."  


Nosedive froze. "Grinster, you aren't saying that, are you?", he said in a shaky voice.  


"It's deeply annoying me to see the image of a person I absolutely can't stand in my head over and over again.", Grin admitted, and the others nodded understandingly.

_...a person I absolutely can't stand...._

Memories flashed through Nosedive's head, of the numerous times they had sit down in front of the TV and watched cartoons, always bickering about the shows. All the times Grin had rescued him, had fought with him. Or had just confused him with his wise sentences.  


And now? Now? It had been an illusion? Was his whole LIFE an illusion? Nosedive slumped to the ground. Nobody liked him....and he was alone. ALONE!  
What if he stayed like that forever? What if....the others never noticed him? He had to live like that - a shadow, a ghost. He would die! 

_  
_

_I can't touch you.  
_

_I feel alone and the only thing I want is to hear your reassuring voice._

_Tell me that everything is okay._

_Tell me that it is just a dream._

_Tell me that it was just a joke and you all like me...._

_Why aren't you answering? Why are you silent???_

  


With a tear-stained face he ran out of the room. "Wildwing...", he sobbed, frantically searching for his brother, the only source of love which had been left. "Wildwing, help me!", he pleaded. Blind of tears he ran through the pond, seeking, searching.  


"WING!", he cried. "Wing, I need you! More than ever!", he ran to his room, and then to Wing's room, searched the toilet and the kitchen.  


And finally, he found his brother in the lab. The well-known face of the older duck calmed him down immediately. "Wildwing!", he said relieved and walked towards the other duck. "I'm so glad to meet you. You won't believe what happened, the whole world seems to dislike me from one moment to another...", his voice trailed off when Wing didn't even flinch. It couldn't be, could it? His brother surely would help him, even if he was a ghost. 

There was a connection between them, a very special one. Nosedive grabbed his brother by the shoulders, but again his hands went through the body and he fell to the ground. "What...", he whispered and looked up at Wing. The look on his face told the teen that Wildwing hadn't noticed him either.  


"You can't do that to me....", he cried, tears running down his face. "I'm your brother. You can't ignore me like that...."  


Wildwing looked up with a confused expression. "Strange....", he mumbled to himself. "I thought I heard something.", he scanned the room, overlooking the invisible Nosedive.  


"You ARE hearing something.", Dive shouted. "ME! It's me, Nosedive!"  


The leader of the Mighty Ducks frowned. "It almost sounded like my little brother....", he said. Nosedive nodded eagerly when he heard this. "Yes! Yes, Wing, it's me. Come on, concentrate, you can hear me, I know it!"  


Wildwing sighed. "I am working to hard. I have nightmares when I'm awake...."  


"Nightmares?", Nosedive repeated, his former enthusiasm disappearing. He stared at his brother in shock. He wouldn't....not him, too....  


"I want to get this stupid brat out of my mind!", Wildwing complained. "He annoyed me my whole life, and now, when he's FINALLY away, I have to dream of him? That's not fair."

Nosedive blinked, unable to say something. Was that really Wing who was saying this? His brother Wing, who had protected and cared for him his whole life? His hands started trembling. What would he do without Wildwing? He was lost. He had trusted him, had trusted him with his life! And now?

"How often have I wished that he would just vanish.", Wildwing continued his rant, still unaware of the presence of his baby brother, "I always had to protect him from everything. He came to me every time he had a nightmare, ignoring that sometimes maybe I just wanted to sleep. He annoyed the other team-mates, and he wasn't a good fighter either.", he sighed deeply. "I should have kicked him out as soon as I got the mask. It was a mistake to take him along; but I was his brother, I didn't have another chance. It's pure luck that the problem is out of the world now. The whole team is happy!", he smiled. "Finally some peace. I'm so glad that Nosedive isn't in the team any more."

Nosedive's world, which had been cracked already, broke into thousands of little pieces. His mouth fell open as he stared at his brother, and the tears continued to fall when the painful words finally reached his brain - and his heart. He sobbed and stretched out his hand, but let it fall immediately. His brother....wasn't there anymore. His brother had never liked him. All the people he had trusted, all the people he had loved....were gone. And Nosedive was alone. He was alone in the crowd, alone under his friends, who weren't his friends anymore....had never been.  


With a heart-breaking cry, the young duck curled up on the ground and sobbed like mad. In his previous life he had survived many sad situations, but this was too much. His heart broke into little pieces. His trust was broken. And his love....betrayed.

_Why aren't you answering? - Because you don't want to answer...  
Why aren't you seeing me? - Because your eyes close at the view of my face...  
Why aren't you hearing me? - Because your ears have forgotten my voice...  
Why are you leaving me? - Because you never liked me...._

_Nobody liked me? I was alone? My life was an illusion? I am alone? Then I don't want to live anymore....then there's nothing left I want to live for. I want to go away. I want to forget your images, your voices. But they are burned into my mind. They will never go away. And my heart will never heal...  
I can't run away from you. I can't run away from reality..._

_Let me die. I want to die. I give up. Death will come and I will embrace it with open arms. Just - make it end. Let me die..._

  


**************

Satisfied the saurian lord watched the young duck. Indeed, this was a difference. He missed a strength he had seen at all the other ducks. This duck was giving up. And already his body was becoming weaker and weaker....Dragaunus let out a content sigh.   


This was the reason he liked having the power. To see your enemies crying, kneeling on the ground...and especially the look in their eyes when they experienced betrayal.

Weak they were, both human beings and ducks. They believed in trust, in friendship and in love. When you broke their trust, manipulated their friends and let them feel unloved....they broke.

Dragaunus had to admit that they were strong when they were fighting together. But it was their strongest and weakest point at the same time. When you knew how you could manipulate them....it was as easy to win as sitting in front of the TV.

How small they looked when they lost everything! How fragile they were....and how pained their expressions could me.

Dragaunus laughed. 

************

Empty eyes stared into the space. Nosedive had hid into a small closet. He didn't want to see anybody. He felt so alone and hurt...nobody could understand these feelings. His whole world was nothing but an illusion.  
The usual cheerful teen didn't resemble himself any more. His eyes red of crying, deep shadows under the eyes and an area of sorrow and darkness around him which hadn't been there before.   
Over and over again he repeated the fatal sentences. Words put together in a certain order, just some words, and they had destroyed everything.

_.....I've never liked him....  
.....I'm glad that Nosedive isn't in the team anymore....  
.....a person I absolutely can't stand....  
......spoiled brat._....

"It's not fair!", Nosedive sobbed and banged his fists into the wall. "Hell, It's not fair! I didn't do anything. They....they have no right to treat me like that!"

He closed his eyes. Memories of his life before this incident flashed through his head - a life full of happiness and excitement. He smiled when he remembered the one day back on Puckworld - a memory which he had always kept in a special place in his heart, because it was so precious.

**FLASHBACK**

Seven year old Nosedive came home crying. This day some of the guys in the school had treaten him badly. Fortunately Wildwing had been there to protect him, but there was something which was nagging at the small child. A question, or better a sentence which one of the boys had said to him: 

"Your brother must really be annoyed to protect you all the time. I bet he hates it and wishes you to hell!", Nosedive eye's had watered at this comment, and the whole day gloomy thoughts had circled around in his head. Did his brother hate him?  


Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and walked into Wing's room. "Wing?", he said timidly. "Can I ask you something?"  


The older duck was sitting over his homework and let out an annoyed sigh. "Is it important?"  
Nosedive looked on the ground and stuttered: "Y-Yes." He looked so lost and sad that Wildwing became concerned and forgot about his algebra problems. "What's wrong, Dive?", he asked softly, kneeling down on the ground so that he could look into the eyes of his baby brother.  


"Do you wish me to hell?"  
Shocked by the question Wing blinked a few times. "What? No, Nosedive, never! Why do you think that?"  


"Because....", the blonde sniffed, "Because you always have to protect me. And I can never do something for you. I am just a little baby, a nuisance!" Tears were streaming down his little face, and Wildwing did the first thing his brotherly instinct told him: he hugged the smaller boy.  


"Nosedive, I will never ever wish you to hell.", he said in a reassuring tone. "You are my smaller brother and I care for you. It's my job to protect you!"  


"B-But...", he cried and buried his head in Wing's chest.  


"No buts." Wildwing told him firmly and stroked over his head. "I will always be there for you, no matter what. I love you, Dive. And nothing could change that."  


A small smile formed on Nosedive's lips. "T-Thanks...", he managed to choke out and hugged his brother. How come that Wildwing only needed to say a few words and he felt immediately better?

**END FLASHBACK**

"I can't believe that he has lied to me.", Nosedive sobbed. "I mean, how often did he reassure me like that? How many times I went to him, crying and feeling totally useless, but he has always cheered me up?"  


He looked down on his hands. "I mean, if he hadn't liked me, he wouldn't have done this, would he? He would have chased me out of the room, or something worse. So why this sudden change?"  


Dive frowned. Maybe this wasn't Wildwing at all. Wildwing would never break his heart. He had promised it. And even if he had stopped liking him, he wasn't one of the people who broke promises easily.  


"And what if it's a dream?", Nosedive said slowly, wiping his wet cheeks. "What if it's a nightmare?"  
Although it was far too intense to be a simple nightmare, the teen wanted to believe it.   


"I remember exactly his words.", he mumbled. "I know what he said. Numerous times."

_"Nosedive, I will always love you. I'm your brother, it's my job to protect you. You would do the same. And if I ever, ever hurt you in a way or another - it isn't me."_

Nosedive's eyes widened in shock and he whispered: "Can it be? Can it be that this isn't the reality? That not my life was an illusion, but this whole scenario? Hallucinations? Dreams, whatever?"

He stood up. Could it be? In trance he walked through the pond to the ice rink. He stepped on the cold ice, glancing at the all-too-famous surroundings. The bench on which they were sitting before a game. The rink in which they had won so many great games. Memories, images flooded his mind and the tears started to fall again.   


"It was real.", he said softly but determined. "I can't believe that it was an illusion. No. Nobody can act like that. Nobody can act as if he would like me when he doesn't. The opposite is easier, but....no."

He fell on his knees and looked into the blank ice. He could see his reflection, the blonde strains hanging in his face and his eyes with a look of sadness in them. "I'm Nosedive.", he told his mirror-self. "I have a brother. His name is Wildwing."  


Yep, that sounded right. "This brother....", his voice became distant, "He says that he doesn't like me. He has broken my heart.", Nosedive bowed down to the ice and whispered: "But I don't believe him. Wildwing wouldn't betray me. This isn't the real Wing!"  
As soon as he had spoken these words, he knew that they were true. Wildwing would NEVER say something like that. His heart knew it. And his brain, too, he just had to convince it.

"It's still hurting. It's hurting like hell to hear these words.", he stood up and a look of determination crossed his face.  


"But I won't give up. No.", he yelled. "The Wildwing I know loves me. The Duke I know accepts me. The Grin I know is my friend. The Thrash I know wouldn't talk like that about me. The Mookie I know wouldn't oversee me. The Mallory I know wouldn't talk bad about me - she would kick my butt!"

"THIS ISN'T MY REALITY!", he shouted. "My reality is different! DO YOU HEAR IT? THIS IS NOT REAL!"

Panting heavily, he balled his fist and growled: "And if there's a way back to MY reality, I will find it!"

  


_My eyes can't see you_

_But my heart does_

_My fingers can't touch you_

_But my heart does_

_And my trust_

_will always be there  
_

**To be continued....**

* * *

Okay, it's obvious who will be the next....*smiles* I don't know when I will manage to write it, though, school is soooo exhausting right now(Kaeera in full complain mode!) And for anybody who's interested: I started a Mighty Ducks, or better: a MDA roleplay. Anybody who's interested (and isn#t playing already) can go to the site: 

**http://www.angelfire.com/comics/kaeera/rpg.html**

Read the rules and mail me if you wanna participate. ~Kaeera


	7. Letting you down(Part A)

**Notes:** Okay, BIG EXCUSE for the delay! This chapter was getting out of hand, so I decided to post the first part before you all kill me. I know that I'm very late with this*people start throwing tomatoes* Yes, yes, I know that I earn it*splash* .....BUT NOT IN THE FACE!!! *coughs*I just thought that it was so.....interesting to torture Wildwing*beams* Hopefully Part B will be finished soon!....Do you know how difficult it can be to write about snow, ice and freezing when it's so hot outside that you sit in underwear in front of the computer???

^^A big hug to Dolphy who corrected some of my spelling mistakes and with whom I am writing a mighty Ducks story! Beware, people! Crazyness ensues! And a big huh to all the other MDA's!! Weirdness rules! 

* * *

_You know_

_that the others need you_

_you feel_

_that they trust you_

_And then_

_you let them down...._.

**To Face the Fears**

_by Kaeera _

**Chapter 7(Part A): Letting you down **

The first thing he felt was the cold. An immense cold. His fingers were numb and his whole body was shivering uncontrollably. Wildwing cracked one eye open and noticed a white sky over him. Slowly his brain started thinking while little pieces of cold met his body, causing him pain.  
Although he had been born on an ice planet, he had never felt such a... cold weather before. It was far behind cold, it was freezing.   
He opened the other eye and tried to collect his thoughts, which was a great problem. It was snowing.  
The duck wanted to say something, but his beak was frozen together. So he just stumbled up on his knees and hugged himself. It was so damn cold...

_Where am I?_

Wildwing looked around, but all he could see was white. Snow, Snow and ice, not even trees or rocks. Or at least he didn't see them because of the snow. The countryside was flat. The duck massaged his face with his hands until he could finally open his mouth. "Nosedive?", he wanted to shout immediately, but he could only croak a weak '....dive...', He coughed and stood up, swaying unsteadily on his feet. Thousand tiny needles of cold pierced into his face, his body, torturing him. He cursed slightly that he just wore his normal fighting outfit. The weather in Anaheim was nice and warm.

_I'm not in Anaheim._

The realization sank slowly into his head. Wildwing wondered why his brain was working so slow, but shoved it aside as a side effect of the cold. He wasn't in Anaheim, that was sure. The area more resembled the north pole or something like that. 

_And where are the others?_

He scanned again the landscape, but couldn't discover much - which didn't mean anything. Due to the snow, he could only see three meters far, not the best qualifications for a search. Nevertheless the duck started to walk through the icy storm, determined to find his friends, and, if possible, an explanation for all this.  


His only problem was that he probably would freeze to death until he reached anyone...His fingers were already numb and starting to become blue. The same with his face, not to speak from his feet. 

_That's my luck....stranded in a giant fridge with clothes for a nice summer day...no clue where the others are and how I got here._

Wildwing bit his teeth together. Now wasn't the right point of time to complain. He had the responsibility for the others; he was the leader. Maybe they were in danger, or they wandered around like him, lost and freezing. Then it was his job to reunite them. After all, Canard had given him the responsibility along with the....  
The mask!  


Wildwing groaned. How could he have forgotten it? With the mask it would be easy to scan the area for any living forms. How stupid that he hadn't thought about this before....

Now the only problem was that the mask wasn't there.

The duck couldn't believe it. His mask...Canard's mask....the precious item....had disappeared?? He looked around, hoping that maybe it would appear out of nowhere, but all he could see was white, white and...white. Wildwing stared to the ground. He had known it, from the beginning. This situation was totally impossible, cruel and...hopeless. 

Tears ran down his cheeks, tears of pain, and froze immediately into tiny little ice balls. Hell, cold could really hurt! With a great effort, he started walking again. He needed to find a shelter, or he would die.

D_ying! No! I can't do that to Nosedive! He would suffer. And the others are probably depending on me....I can't die!_

The image of Canard came into his mind. His friend, throwing himself into the dimensional limbo only to rescue them. And trusting him, Wildwing, to lead the team to safety and to win the war against Dragaunus. The last look on his face when he slowly fell down, and the deafening scream out of Wildwing's throat. Even now this scene was hunting him in his dreams, bringing back the painful moment over and over again.  
He shook his head. This was not the time for melancholic thoughts. He had to do something. He couldn't freeze to death, could he?

Freeze.

The voice echoed in his head, strangely clear and loud through the noises of the snowstorm. It was a creepy, deep voice which didn't sound like it came from any living-being. It was so...cold. Untouched. No feelings. Wildwing shivered, both of fear and of the cold. He couldn't do anything against it. This word, this single word was crawling into his head, entering his thoughts and causing an immediate fear.

Freeze. And never come back.

It laughed. A cruel and evil laughter, yet so cold that it seemed the words would break of the cold. It came from everywhere, from outside and inside his head, it echoed through the snow, came through the ground and from the sky. Wildwing shook his hand and started to run.  
He was slow at first, his feet frozen and his body stiff, but after a few seconds he managed it to regain the control and speeded through the high snow. He wasn't very fast, but that didn't mind to him. He just wanted to get away, although he knew that running wouldn't help him - the voice was everywhere, so where to escape?

Fortunately the running had at least one good point - he became warm from it, and it cleared his mind a bit. Wildwing panted heavily and tried to calm down. Freaking out wouldn't help. It was just a voice, after all. It could neither hurt nor attack him. It could annoy him to death, sure, but he wouldn't let that happen. After all, he had suffered 17 painful years through all of Nosedive's pranks and jokes....if a man didn't get stronger from that, then what? Although he had to admit that it was kind of funny, now when he was just watching it, for Mallory was Nosedive's latest victim (and Phil).

The memory of his brother's latest prank made him smile. He even imagined hearing his voice....wait a moment! Didn't he really hear that? Wildwing listened carefully. There had been a weak shout, nearly unaudible...what if.....there! He had heard it again. Someone was crying out there. The duck couldn't make out the words, but the knowledge that another person was out there relieved him greatly.  


"Hello?", he shouted back, waiting for a response.  


"Ha...l.....e....l.....he.....", was all he could hear. With the howling of the wind and the snow in his ears it was nearly impossible to hold a conversation.

"Who's there?"

"He...l...p...."

The voice was coming from his right side, so the leader of the Mighty Ducks determined marched to the source of the voice. The snow took him every side and blindly he struggled through the whiteness, concentrating alone on the noise and nothing else. His heart was pounding.

And suddenly the storm stopped. At first he didn't realize what had happened and blinked a few times in confusion. Looking around he saw white and icy walls, and when he turned his head he could see the storm outside. He was in an ice cave. Gratefully for the change he rubbed his face free from the ice and the cold and enjoyed the feeling of being able to see again. 

"Help...", came the voice again. "Who's there?", Wildwing shouted back and walked into the cave. Although not much light was coming from outside the walls glittered and illuminated the scene in a grey light. The air was cold and chilly and he still shivered, but at least he could see and walk without problems, although the floor was quite slippery. Walking around a corner, he found out who had called.

His breath stopped for the shortest of moments and his eyes became wide. In front of him was a large cave, maybe 15 meters high and at least 50 meters long. The walls were made of immense ice blocks, gigantic and shining in a mystic light. Somewhere had to be a hole, because a thin sunray was shining on the middle of the cave, lightening the darkness and revealing a person who was hanging there, head pointing to the ground, the feet tied to a thick rope.  


Wildwing's eyes recognized the familiar figure, saw the red hair, now thick with ice and snow, saw the well-known fighting outfit.....he gasped. 

"Mallory!"

The female duck cracked weakly one eye open. She tried to focus and could finally see her leader. A small smile formed on her lips.  


"H'lo...Wing....", she coughed softly. Her face was blue. How long had she been hanging like that?

"Mallory!", Wing repeated again, this time with more force in his voice. "What happened?" Then he remembered that he maybe should free her first and then ask questions. He hurried towards the middle, sliding on the idea and nearly losing his balance. "I'll help you!", he promised and searched frantically for a way, a mechanism to help his friend. But he couldn't see anything! No rope, no ladder, no rocks to climb on, nothing!

"It's....too late....", Mallory stated with sad eyes and looked directly at Wildwing. There was something in her face, something....as if she had accepted the unacceptable, had given up, had lost her spirit....lost....A small tear dropped down her face, fell through the air, immediately freezing to ice and shimmering in the light like a shooting star. It broke on the ground.

"What do you mean by that?", the duck asked horrified, for he had never seen the fighter girl in such a state before, and it deeply frightened him.

"You...came too late....", came the weak reply, and again the knowing stare pierced through him. "It...It's over...", the corners of her lips were curling slightly, as if she tried to smile.

The rope cracked. "No!", screamed Wildwing, as Mallory started to fall down, falling down towards the hard, icy ground, head first. He jumped and raced, trying to catch her, trying to rescue her, but his feet slipped on the ice and he fell on his nose. All he could hear was a sickening 'Thumb' and then....Silence. Trembling he tried to stand up, eyes fixed on the crumbled body, on the trail of blood which was freezing, too, forming red crystals. He crawled to her, shook her, yelled at her, but her white face remained motionless.  


Finally he felt for a pulse. His numb fingers didn't feel anything, but he pleaded that it was because of the cold and not because Mallory was....no, he didn't want to think of that. He listened for her breath, any life-sign he could get, but....Silence. Overwhelming silence. Just the howling of the wind, outside, the snow-storm. Slowly he dropped her hand and buried his head in his arms.

I could have helped her. If I had hurried a little bit more....if I had been a little bit faster....then she would still be alive. It's my fault, my damn fault and I...I....she will never smile again, will never hunt Nosedive down the corridors again....she was a friend, a team-member....I can't believe it....

He started to cry, his tears splashing on her face, freezing immediately and leaving traces of ice on her white cheeks.

***********************

"They were moving! I told you that they were moving!", Chameleon said to Siege. "I was standing guard, and suddenly one of these ducks moved his hands!"

"You must be stupid.", Siege growled back. "Our lord told us that they can't wake up, whatever happens. They are prisoners in their minds, and there's no way to escape. You were hallucinating."

"Am not!", the small saurian shot back insulted. "I know what I saw. What if they wake up and kill us while we're sleeping? Or what if they conquer our ship?", he waved with his arms, scared by the numerous possibilities. 

"Argh!", Siege rolled his eyes and grabbed Chameleon. "We'll see if they are moving or not." The two saurians walked into the large room in which the Mighty Ducks were 'resting' in the strange liquid-filled glass boxes. He glanced at the bodies who seemed to be death and cold. "D'ya see anyone who's awake here?", he asked.

Chameleon looked around. "They did it, I swear!" Slowly he wandered through the room. "I was standing here and then I saw it...."

Siege laughed. "Weakling! Even when they wake up, they can't free themselves while they are in this boxes. The glass is unbreakable!" He chuckled and turned around. "Come on, you should stop watching this human television. It's not good for your eyes!"

"But...", Chameleon still wasn't sure and nervously rubbed his hands.

"No buts!", Siege took the smaller saurian by the shoulders and let him out of the room. "You're lucky that Dragaunus doesn't know about this. He would grill you, no kidding.", Their voices became softer and softer as they walked away from the room. Once again it was silent in the wet prison of the ducks.

Mallory's hand twitched. 

*********************

He had tried to bury her corpse, but it had been impossible in the ice. The only result he got were his bleeding and hurting fingers. With a heavy heart he had left her in the cave, realizing that it was impossible for him to carry her through the snow and promising silently that he would come back and take the body to a proper grave.

Now Wildwing was continuing his way through the snowy desert, once again freezing and cursing his destiny, hating the world for putting him in a situation like this one. It was even worse now; he was being hunted by the idea that it was his fault and that he, as the leader of the Mighty Ducks, should have been there to rescue her.

_They trust you_

_Give you the responsibility_

_And you fail them_

_let them down_

  


His lips were pressed together, making his face unnaturally old and giving him a strict touch he didn't have before. Maybe it had been his fault, okay. But Mallory was dead, and his worrying and wailing in self-pity wouldn't help her. He still had the responsibility to bear for four other people, one of them his younger brother, and he deeply wanted to fulfil this task. Even if it cost his life. 

_Their eyes_

_Broken_

_Stare at you with this hurt look_

_And it's all your fault_

_Because it was your responsibility_

  
Wildwing stumbled through the storm, which seemed to become more and more powerful with every minute that passed. Even the elements seemed to have to fight against him. Forgotten was the question where he was, or why, now his heart was burning with only one emotion: determination, the determination to find the others and to come back home, to safety.  


He didn't allow himself to think of his frozen and blue hands, or of his feet which he didn't feel anymore. He didn't allow himself to wince at the piercing pain he felt every time the cold wind blew into his face. 

Suddenly he fell to the ground, his feet stumbling over a small...something in the snow. It was dark, maybe a rock. Wing landed flat on his face and cursed under his breath. Slowly he tried to rose, when he saw something. For a moment his heart stopped beating. One part of the dark thing was formed like a hand, a motionless hand which was laying on the ground. His eyes followed the arm, wandered over the body, the body over which he had stumbled and of which he had assumed that it had been a rock. He crawled nearer and touched carefully the person, whoever it was.

Right then the storm stopped blowing for a moment, enough so that Wildwing could see a little bit more than just schemes. With a growing fear he realized that the person on the ground had a beak....it was a duck? 

_No....not another friend, please...._

With shaking hands he turned the corpse around, stared into a blue and frozen face, looked into wide-open eyes, eyes which didn't see anymore, which were silent, lost, empty, dead. He saw the familiar muscular and giant body, saw the hair which was pulled up in a small little ponytail....and he started crying, again, for the second time this day. "Not you too, Grin....", he whispered sadly, his tears dripping on the snow. With a trembling hand he closed the eyes of his friend. This Grin would never watch TV with Nosedive again...he would never meditate in the kitchen, would never annoy the others with his Zen-Stuff, would never....live again.

_It's just not fair....Mallory and Grin, they both didn't earn this. They should live peacefully at home, they shouldn't lie in the snow and be dead like that....it's so unfair!_

Then he realized that there was another corpse which was laying beside Grin. For a moment he was too scared to move, he feared that it would be another one of his friends, another duck....and he knew that he couldn't bear that right now. On the other hand he knew that he couldn't just walk away like that. The questions would hunt him for the rest of his life, so Wildwing quickly stepped to the other body and examined in closely, although his heart was aching.

As soon as he saw the blonde hair and the familiar overall, he knew who it was. Nontheless he turned the head of the corpse to see her face. The eyes of the female duck were wide open, seeming to stare through Wildwing, at a point wide after him only she could see. Her long blonde hair was frozen and her beak was slightly opened, in a last scream. There were the marks of fear in her face, a fear of the death, fear of the one and only thing nobody wants to face.  


Wildwing covered his eyes with his hand and sank on the ground. "Tanya....", was all he could croak. Suddenly he felt so very lost and alone. His friends, his family, they were dead, and he hadn't helped them. He had come to late, and now they died. He should at least have died with them - for him it seemed to be unfair that he was alive while they were....well, dead.

_But life's never fair...the ducks back on Puckworld didn't earn the invasion either. We were a peaceful race. But they just attacked and so many died...so many friends..._

"WING!", a shout let him jerk up out of his dark thoughts. His eyes widened as he recognized the all-too familiar voice, a voice which he would know under thousand elses..."Nosedive!", he jumped up and looked around, his eyes narrowing as he searched for a sign of the young teen.  


"NOSEDIVE, WHERE ARE YOU?", he shouted and waited eagerly for a response.

"WING! HELP ME!", came the reply, full of fear and panic. Wing's feet moved without him knowing, and he realized that he was running towards the source, leaving the dead bodies behind. Now the first priority was to help his brother. He sprinted through the snow with all his powers.

"Wing...", Nosedive was basically in the same position Mallory had been. He was hanging in the air, under him a giant hole of which Wildwing couldn't see the ground. It had to be very deep, and if someone fell into it, he was surely a death person. Wing gulped and waved to his brother. "Nosedive! I'm here!"  


Nosedive looked up, his blonde hair covering his eyes, and a relieved look crossed his face. "Man, Wing, it was time. I don't think that the rope will hold any longer." He motioned to the thin rope which was the only thing which prevented him from falling down.  


To his horror Wildwing saw that it wouldn't hold any longer, at one place it was as thin as a spaghetti. He had to hurry! He clearly remembered Mallory, and didn't want that the same happened to his brother. "Hold on!", he screamed and climbed to the other end of the hole. The rope had to be tied to something, and he had to find it.  


"Hey, I'm just hanging here.", Nosedive joked and looked at his brother with trustful eyes. "Just waited for my personal super-hero."  
Wildwing smiled, although his heart started bleeding when he heard these words. I am no superhero...I have failed three other friends....  
A soft sound irritated him, and he saw that the rope was getting thinner and thinner. No time to think! Act! He took the other end of the rope and....didn't know what to do.   


"Wing....", came the panicked question of Nosedive. "I don't think that it holds any longer." He looked up with frightened eyes. "Please hurry, I....", he was interrupted by the loud CRACK of the rope. His eyes widened as he started to fall down, and he stared at Wildwing with a shocked and.-...sad look on his face. Wing's mouth formed the word 'No', but no sound came out. Frozen he watched how his brother fell down, slowly at first, then faster and faster. Nosedive's mouth opened. "WIIIIIIINNNNNNG!", he screamed full of terror and stretched his hand out, but he fell into the gigantic hole, leaving Wing standing at the side with the - now senseless - rope in his hands.

The sound of Nosedive's scream echoed through the scenery. The duck was like frozen. Staring into the rope he listened for a sound, anything, but all he could hear was silence. The wind howled softly and a cold breeze let him shudder. "Nosedive...", he whispered out of dry lips. The rope fell out of his lifeless hands and he kneeled on the ground. "No. No. Nonononono.", he repeated over and over again, as if the words were a magical sentence which could bring back his brother. "That's not possible, this can't be, he can't be dead, Nosedive...", a single tear rolled down his cheek and froze to a crystal. It was all too fast for him....Mallory, Grin, Tanya...and Nosedive.

_Why haven't I been faster? Why didn't I help him? Why couldn't I help him? He trusted me, dammit! He....he looked at me with these eyes of his, with this trustful look...and I? I failed him, I let him down....I didn't earn this trust. No....it was my responsibility. I'm the leader. I'm the leader and I am responsible for my team. They trust me, I care for them. Somewhere in this story I made the wrong decision...and now they are dead, vanished, and all because of me..._

Wildwing wanted to cry, but couldn't. His eyes were dry. Slowly he lay down on the ground and closed his eyes. If the others were dead, he didn't want to live anymore either. It was just equal, wasn't it?

***************

"This duck seems to react very good.", Wraith commented. "I didn't expect that."

Dragaunus chuckled. "It's logical. After all he's the leader. Too much responsibility, and he's one of the sensible types. He thinks too much. Something you shouldn't do in an important position. You must accept that from time to time you can lose some of your soldiers.", an evil grin appeared on his face.

Wraith nodded. "How true, my lord."

"It's a pleasure to see my greatest enemy like this.", Dragaunus was in a happy mood. He was sitting in his gigantic chair and eating some popcorn - the only human meal he had learned to accept during his life-time on this planet. It was just perfect for watching anything, especially something entertaining like the mental death of a duck!

"I just hope that the others are safe and can't escape.", he shot a threatening glance towards the other saurian.  


"Uhm....", Wraith stuttered. "They can't escape. There are the glass boxes to which they are tied. And they are still sleeping under the influence of medicaments. They shouldn't wake up during the next 48 hours."

"Hmpf.", the lord made. "I know these ducks. They always find an escape. I want you to control them every hour, understood?"

Wraith sighed defeated and agreed to this - in his eyes - totally senseless order. He had seen the glass boxes, the walls were thicker than his hands! And even when the ducks had managed it to escape his mental horror scenarios...they were still sleeping and there were many methods of torturing somebody...

"Hmm, maybe I will take a walk later and visit them in their glassy prisons.", Dragaunus roared of laughter. "Like animals in the snow, my personal freak show. What a triumph! What a pleasure!"

Wraith felt the sudden urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, master.", he made and looked on the ground.

Somewhere else, in the dark prisons of six seemingly dead ducks, the eyebrow of a grey-feathered duck was twitching slightly.

**To be continued....**  



	8. Letting you down(Part B)

**Notes**: Oh man. That was the worst case of writer's block I have ever had. And in my opinion this chapter is the worst of the whole story! It's so...illogical and well, I wanted to come to an end, so I hurried a little bit and so...the result is rubbish. Ah well. I'm sorry. There will be one more chapter, though, but don't ask me when. My life is pretty busy right now, cause I am working the whole holidays, so I am barely at home.

Again I am sorry for the delay. It seems to become a habit of me...maybe you should just accept that Kaeera is a lazy girl who can't write . And this chapter is shorter than the others, but I ran out of ideas. Gotta hate writer's block!! And I am so busy that I can't read all the new stories in the mighty Ducks section! *sobs* Okay, okay, you certainly don't want to hear my complains, but...I am complaining anyways!!! *stucks out her tongue*

**Oh, and since my fellow beta-reader Dolphy is currently away, you might discover some mistakes in this story. I didn't want you to wait any longer, so I'll upload the uncorrected version and will replace it later. Hope you can live with that! Well, enjoy the product of my sick mind! :P**

* * *

**To Face the Fears**

_by Kaeera_

**Chapter 8: Letting you down(Part B)**

Time passed and nothing happened. Wildwing had buried his head in his hands, being motionless, like dead. And that was what he wanted to be - dead. It had been his fault, his damn fault that his team-members died, and he had seen them dying. In his arms. They died in front of him, and he had been unable to prevent it. He had just watched, horrified, shocked, but he hadn't done anything. He hadn't been able to do anything.

_They died in my hands  
_

_in my hands  
_

_in my.._.

He wailed silently, images of his friends and brother flooding his mind. Images of a happy life, memories of peace....the six ducks, all in a team, on earth, fighting together, living together, one unit, one family. And now? It was over. Over. Over and out. What was happening? Why now?  


_Mallory, sitting on the couch and reading one of her fashion magazines. Her red hair, hanging wildly in her face, shining in the sunlight which comes through the window. Her face - strong and concentrated. The fighter girl who can handle a bazooka, who can kick the saurians like nobody else. Her dead body lying on the ground, on the glittering ice. Motionless. Cold_. 

What would Canard think of him? What would he say when he knew that he, Wildwing, had sent the team into their death? Had let them down? Hadn't been able to help them? But....but Canard couldn't think anything. Canard was dead, too...like the others....like everybody...without him.

_Tanya, standing in the lab and experimenting with Drake One. Blonde strains hanging in front of her eyes. Her intelligent face and her strange kind of talking when she tries to explain something. Her hands, calmly and never standing still. And then....her body, dead. In the snow, lifeless. No breathing. No pulse. Nothing. Her lips, so cold...._

Why couldn't he die? There was something which prevented him from committing suicide, a small part of his mind which insisted on living, which told him that nevermind what happened, you should never give up, because then everything's lost. He had never been a depressive guy, and suicide had never been a solution. But now...dying seemed pleasant now!

_Grin, kneeling on the floor and meditating. His ponytail and his huge body, taller than everybody else and strong like an elephant. His wise words which nobody understood, and then the soft chuckle he used to add. His quarrelling with Nosedive in front of the TV, and the numerous times he had calmed Wildwing down with only his presence. His corpse on the ground, blue lips, white face, like a giant doll...._

Wildwing hesitated for a short moment and looked at the sky. He didn't mind the cold anymore, neither did he mind the snow or the wind. H felt lost...he felt alone...he was alone....this was the worst feeling he had ever had in his life. Even the camps hadn't been that bad, because there he could hope that his brother was alive...but now hope had died, because he knew it, had seen the death of his smaller brother, of the person he cared most for.

_Nosedive, his smaller brother. Nosedive with his messy blonde hair, his attitude....The smart comments he used to throw in, his love for TV and sweets and his crazy friends at the comic shop. His coolness and the numerous times at night when he had a nightmare and came to his room, seeking for support. Then...Nosedive's eyes, opened wide with shock and horror, with betrayal. His hand, outstretched, trying to reach him, but failing....his scream, echoing through his mind as the teen fell down the hole...fell down....and never returned.._..

*****************

_Suddenly there had been this beam of light. It had just happened...she had been in the desert, and then...then all was white and now she seemed to be floating in the middle of nowhere. It was a strange feeling; as if she had lost her body, was only a ghost, only her soul. She didn't feel fear anymore, in opposite, she was calm, very calm. Peaceful. The air - if you could call it like that - was warm. For some minutes she enjoyed the peace, then she became restless. She wanted to go back, to be in her body! She wanted to do something.  
_

_Something was definitely wrong, and Mallory strongly suspected that it involved the Saurians. This dream hadn't been a normal dream. It was far too clear for that. No, probably a kind of manipulation. That meant that they were arrested by the ugly creatures, and that they were in danger. The duck wanted to wake up and fight!_

_She growled in frustration and tried to move, but it was difficult without a real body. Then, suddenly, she felt a presence beside her. It was big, calm and strong. The image of Grin popped into her mind. Mallory thought a question - she couldn't really speak - and received a positive reply. A wave of relief overcame the girl. At least Grin was with her; and she wasn't alone anymore._

_Grin himself wasn't as surprised as Mallory. It resembled a bit of meditating - soul and body are two different things, and now they were separated. You could think clearer, because you weren't bonded to your vulnerable flesh. But he knew that they - sooner or later - had to escape, because the time was limited. He directed this thought at Mallory and received a mental nod. 'But' Told the soul of the warrior girl 'We should wait for the others'  
_

_The giant duck agreed. It was likely that his team-mates shared the same strange dreams, and would hopefully find a way out, like he did. He remembered the harshness of this path and shuddered mentally. 'Please let them fight like I did. They can't give up.'_

_They waited for a short time, both ducks strangely aware of the other's presence. They both knew that they had shared horrible experiences, and that they had been strong enough to face their deepest fears. It gave them an inner strength only few people possessed.  
Mallory's thoughts flew back to the memories of her past. This incident had always been in her mind, everytime when she fought. It was a source of her power, and a source of her fear. Now she had understood, had learned to accept it and had learned to live with it.  
Grin was thinking the same way. He had tried everything, had suppressed his emotion, and his memories, but he had finally learned to accept them and to live with them._

_They would have smiled when they had bodies to smile with. Then another presence entered the 'room'. It was energetic, experience and with an air of dry humour. They both need some time to recognise the other duck, but then an image planted itself in their heads, and they saw their greyfeathered friend, the ex-thief, Duke. A silent welcome greeted him and he greeted back, surprised at first, and then nodding understandingly. He felt the aura of self-consciousness around his friends and realized that the same aura could be found around him as well. The result of this adventure - they had all become stronger. A slight chuckle echoed through the nothingness. Duke directed his thoughts to the others 'Stupid saurians. In the end they didn't destroy us, but helped us, because now we can live with our fears.'  
_

_The others agreed, but Grin pointed out that they shouldn't be too happy yet. After all, three friends were still missing and it was possible that they didn't manage it and were lost now, that the evil plan of their enemies had succeeded. Worry swept over the three and the impatiently waited for the presence of their friends._

**************

"How long are you planning to continue this?", a voice asked suddenly and Wildwing jerked up. He looked around and searched for the person who had said these words, but he didn't found anybody.

"Continue what?", he rubbed his eyes.

"Wailing. Crying. Whatever you call it. Sitting in a corner and blaming yourself."

"That doesn't interest you!"

"Oh, it does, Wildwing, believe me, it does. Because you can't stay like that, because we need you and you can't sulk forever.", the voice came closer and a shadow materialised beside the duck. He looked up and his eyes widened when he saw the familiar figure of his old friend. "Duke!", Wildwing gasped, both in shock and joy. "You're alive?"

"I can't answer this question. Here I am not alive, but maybe elsewhere...", the grey duck smirked. 

"Wing, I'm not the real Duke, I'm a part of your mind, your imagination, which wants to tell you something very, very important, but it is difficult because of the mental blocks in this prison...", the shadow wavered a bit. "I can't stay long, I can just give you a few hints! Think, Wildwing, think! Your friends trusted you, but they would....never blam...y....This i-is...t r...ty...", his voice became raspy and the shadow disappeared in a flash.

"Wha....", Wildwing could just stare at the place where his friend had been standing and where now only white snow could be seen. What had he wanted to say? They would never blame...who? Him? He narrowed his eyes. Would Nosedive ever blame him for letting him down?

_Sure he would, you are his brother, you idiot, it's you responsibility...._

His mind screamed, but he tried to ignore it. He had to think logically, rational, like every leader should. Take a deep breathe, Wing! Calm down!

He remembered Nosedive, remembered his lazy attitude and remembered their relationship to each other. The teen had always admired him and had followed him around like a lost puppy in the earlier days. Although he had become quite independent with the time, he still searched for consolation and respected his brother. Wildwing knew that Nosedive loved him, even more now that in the past, the cruel events had tied them together. And Nosedive trusted him. Would he blame him?  


The leader turned the words around, as a sudden thought popped into his head. _Would I blame him?_ He frowned. In exactly the same situation, would he blame his brother because he hadn't manage it to rescue him? Would he say that it was Nosedive's fault?  


_Of course not! He couldn't have done anything. It was destiny, and I certainly wouldn't blame him...._  


Probably Nosedive would do the same. Still...that didn't change his mood the tiniest bit. They were still dead, his team-mates, his friends, his brother...just Duke, who mysteriously appeared as a ghost....wait a moment....  
Wildwing rubbed his eyes. Since when could Duke do that? Hey, in real life things like that didn't happen! It was just....illogical! 

_So...this isn't real life?_

A wave of excitement swept over him. Maybe this was just an illusion, a dream, a nightmare? Maybe his friends were still alive? He replayed the events in his mind. The fact that he didn't knew how this had happened, the fact that Duke had appeared suddenly out of nowhere, like a ghost, the fact that the whole scenery was somehow....unreal...

"Took you quite a while to figure this out!", someone chuckled besides him. Wildwing looked up. "Who....Canard???", his beak fell open as he looked at his friend. "No way! You are dead....I think....", he scratched, realising that if this was a dream, it could be quite possible to meet old friends.

"Penny for your thoughts.", his friend slapped him on the shoulder. "Finally thinking straight again?"

"Halfway.", Wing replied with a weak smile. "I still don't understand some things...and I wanna know how I can escape!"

"Well, that's an easy one.", Canard scratched his chin. "Okay, I'm just a ghost, a mental image, created of your sick brain, but I think I know the answer for this one. Imagine this is a nightmare, not a natural one, but a nightmare created to frighten you to death. It's clear that the purpose to destroy you can only be reached when you can't fight against the fears, when your deepest and biggest fears come to the surface. That's what happened so far.", he grinned a bit. "Well, unfortunately the targeted person - you - has finally used his brain and realised that everything is just a big illusion. Now the person wants to escape. Think a little bit....this dream is about your deepest fears, the fears which were buried in your soul."  


Wildwing frowned. "I have to know my fears?"

"Yep. Plus another thing."

The duck slapped his forehead. "Duh! I have to face them! I have to face my fears!", he looked at Canard. "But I did do that...I saw Nosedive dying!"

"Yeah, and you wanted to kill yourself after that!"

"Oh."

"Do you see the point?"

Wildwing nodded, deep in thoughts. "I have to accept my fears. I can't give in. I have to keep my hope. I just gave up, I sank deeper into depression...", he recalled the last few hours. He remembered how horrible he had felt when he had seen the other ducks dying. "But...they aren't death, right? It's just a dream..", his eyes glinted with hope.  


"Wing...even if they were dead, you should continue living. It's hard. It's sad. But it's the way of life.", Canard smiled knowingly. "And now go home, buddy. Show the saurians that we are way better than them!"  
He laughed and gave Canard the high-five. "Thanks a lot! I owe you one!", he stood up and brushed the snow from his pants. The silhouette of Canard started to disappear. "Canard...." Wildwing said, before his friend vanished like Duke. "I...miss you."  


The duck turned around with a sad expression on his face. "But I am not the real Canard, and you know that. I am an illusion!", then his face lit up. "But Canard knows it. I'm sure.", then he disappeared.  


***************

_Another person joined the three, and it didn't take them long to recognize the brilliant mind of Tanya. She was very interested in their momentary bodyless existence and asked the others about it. But she only received shrugs. Curiously she wondered how the saurians had managed it to plant them such evil dreams in their heads. A wave of sadness overcame her when she remembered Nicole, but it quickly faded._

_'Why are they taking so long?', Mallory finally wanted to know. She had been the first one to escape and was getting bored._

_'Keep your inner peace, my friend, and enjoy the freedom of your soul.', was one reply. Of course - Grin._

_'Maybe they are taking a quick nap.', joked Duke and chuckled softly._

_'Or maybe they have more problems than we.', added Tanya._

_'Well, it's nothing new that we have to wait for Dive...', grumbled Mallory. 'But Wildwing...', she was interrupted by a new, loud and chaotic presence. _

_'Are you talking about me behind my back?', someone laughed, and they immediately knew that their young friend had managed it to escape, too._

_'That's cool!', Nosedive realised and went to discover the inner sides of his soul. 'I'm a creepy ghost! Wohooo!', he seemed to be his old cheerful self. The others groaned. Ciao, Peace! 'Hey, Mallory, I can see all your dark secrets!', the teen threatened which caused the female duck to cry in shock. 'What?!' 'Only kidding! His reply on that was a snort. 'I will return to my body now!', Mallory announced. 'Nosedive is already annoying me, and in this state I can't punch him.'_

  
Wildwing looked down on his hands and noticed that he wasn't freezing anymore. He was...warm, and felt normal, although there was still a blizzard around him and he could see how cold it was. Snow whirled in his face, snow covered his shoulders and his feet, but it just wasn't cold anymore. The duck enjoyed the sudden feeling of comfortable peace and closed his eyes for a brief moment. Then he clenched his fists and looked determined at the sky. 

_I want to go back. I want to wake up._

With all his intensity he concentrated on this two thoughts, sent all his powers into it. He could feel it, could feel how his body slowly started to...disappear, to feel lighter. Wildwing smiled. He could see the faces of his friends in front of his inner eye, believed to hear their voices, their laughter, their shouts. They weren't dead. They wouldn't blame him. They trusted him, but they knew that he wasn't perfect. That he had his weak sides. And still they trusted him....a wave of encouragement flooded over him. He saw the flash of light, felt, how he started to move without moving, felt, how his soul flew through the sky, through the sphere , through a hidden barriere and suddenly....

_...he was pure soul. His body was far away and just his thoughts, his dreams, hies believes were flying around, somewhere. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear, but he could feel something...strange....and far in the distance he could feel five presences, five souls he knew. He would have laughed, if he had a body. So he just flooded towards them and sent them a greeting. a warm 'Hello' and received shouts of joy and relief. He was the last one to arrive. They all had managed their own fears, and for one moment Wildwing wondered what these fears might be(he decided to ask his brother as soon as they had reached home), but then decided that their first priority was to return - finally - to their bodies and to do some major damage to certain saurians._

_Again he concentrated, this time on his body, and he knew that his friends and his brother were doing the same. They would come back. Together. Safe. Alive._

  


_Sometimes_

_you just have to realise_

_that you aren't perfect_

_and that there are people_

_who rely on you_

_and who know that you are no superman_

_See this_

_And realise that they trust you_

_And if you fail to help them_

_And if you are crying because you couldn't help them_

_Remember that you are no superhuman_

_Remember that they trusted you_

_Remember that they will never blame you_

It was silent in the raptor. Night had started and even the saurians were sleeping peaceful. Just some glimmering lights enlightened the small, metallic corridors. The prisons of the six ducks were shining in mystic green light, the liquid around them moving their hair and clothes. They resembled dead people, pale, with closed eyes and frozen faces. Then it changed. First one was Mallory. Her eyebrow started to twitch, then the other followed. 

_Where's my body? I can feel something...it's....strange....concentrate, girl, concentrate! You are in your own body, you should be able to move it. Breathe. Wait. I can't breathe! What's that for a strange feeling? Like I am flying...no...not really....not flying, swimming. I'm swimming in water....no! I am drowning! Open your eyes, or you'll die! Open! OPEN, DAMMIT!_

Her eyes shot open. She wanted to gasp for air, but realised that she couldn't - a tube in her mouth was preventing her from doing so. She felt panic rise and mentally counted to ten; this tube was helping her breathing, so there was nothing to worry about; nonetheless she felt strange about breathing without breathing, if you could call it like that. Slowly she could recognize her surroundings. It frightened her to be imprisoned in a glass cage, but she had the fear under control. The others were in the same room, swimming like her in the liquid. Ugh. Disgusting. Typical for Dragaunus and Co.  


She moved a little bit. Her arms and legs felt stiff, but nothing bad. Mallory started to grin. Time to escape! Then her grin faded when she noticed that she didn't have a chance to break through the thick glass. The girl frowned and stared at Grin, who was in the cage next to her. He certainly was strong enough, not?

_Come on, Grinster, wake up, I wanna go home!_

His eyebrows were moving and Mallory waited anxious. She didn't like being the only one awake in this frightening room - although she would have never admitted it, of course. Impatiently she knocked against the glass, causing the other duck to crack one eye open. 

Grin came back to his body, not really prepared for the scene which was awaiting him. The giant duck was used to meditating and to....how had his master always called it?....to let his soul fly around iwthout his body. Normally, however, this body wasn't swimming in a green liquid, imprisoned in a glass cage with Mallory next to him. He blinked at her and recalled the previous events, recalled his dream. Oh. Mallory seemed to be quite angry, glaring at him with burning eyes. She wanted to escape. Well, Grin wanted the same, so he pressed his hands against the cool glass and his back against the other side. His muscles were working and the large strength of the calm duck showed some results - a small crack was forming, water(or whatever this was) started to drip out, slowly wetting the floor and with a enormous CRACK the whole glass box exploded, masses of water filling the room and Grin splashed on the floor like a wet puppy. He coughed and pulled the tube out of his mouth, inhaling the fresh air. Pieces of shattered glass were lying everywhere and the liquid was covering the floor at least two centimetres high.  


Grin brushed a few pieces of glass from his clothes - he was still wearing the same outfit, the duck realised in surprise - and stood up in order to free the others. Mallory was the only one who was fully awake; the others were just coming to consciousness, not yet aware of their surroundings. Grin searched for a kind of weapon, a stick to destroy the massive glass. He could have used his fists, but he wanted to be able to continue playing ice-hockey. 

Soon he found a metal piece which was lying on the floor, took it and slammed it with full force on the glass wand of Mallory's cage. Again shattering could be heard and a enormous wave splashed again Grin, causing him to stumble back. Mallory fell on the floor, coughed and tried to stand up. The ground was too wet and she slipped, falling painfully on her back. She grumbled and took the tube away.

"Finally!", she croaked and gasped for air. "It's time that this nightmare ends!"

Grin just nodded and went to the other cages. It was time to kick some saurians.

**To be continued...**  



	9. Coming Home

**Notes**: And here it is...THE LAST CHAPTER! How long have we waited for this? Be glad, after you have read this, you can throw the story away and don't have to suffer through anymore cliffhangers*g* I know that it took me long, but my life is so busy right now, and then I have lost the ideas for the last part...It was difficult to write this. Writer's Block is an evil disease....However, I'm sorry. I'm just not a fast writer. 

* * *

**To Face the Fears**

_by Kaeera_

**Chapter 9: Coming Home**

_What's this feeling?_

_What's happening?_

_I'm floating...I'm swimming...where's my body? Where am I? Okay, remember...yeah...the dreams...we wanted to escape, exactly...so now, where did I go? Huh...difficult...I feel my body, feel something, feel that I am alive, but I am so tired, so deadly tired...and I want to know what's happening!_

_I guess I better should open my eyes._

Bright light, hurting in his eyes. Closing them again. The tingling feeling of something in his mouth, helping him to breathe and making him uncomfortable. The wetness around him, and his hair, moving around him like in water...wait a moment...he was in water! At least in some kind of liquid....  


And then the crack, the noise, the sound of rushing water and the feeling of fresh air, the feeling of freedom...

_I'm awake! Okay, okay, try to collect your thoughts..._

"Uuuuugh," groaned Nosedive and opened his eyes again. Huh? What had happened? One moment he had been floating, and the next...he was lying on the floor, soaking wet, between shattered pieces of glass and Grin staring at him. "Huh?", was the only thing he could say.

"Hello little one," greeted Grin.

The blonde duck looked around and sat up. He had this strange dream, and then...uh...well, what happened then? His eyes swept over Tanya, who was clutching her head, to Duke, who was already standing, looking out of the room, checking if somebody was near, and then to his brother, who was just waking up. 

"We are in the Raptor?", Nosedive blinked, when he finally could recognize his surroundings. Suddenly all the memories washed back to him and he shivered when he remembered the frightening scenes he had endured during his dream.

Grin smiled. "Yes. We are alive. But we aren't safe yet."

The teen finally stood up and tried to dry his wet hair. "That means that we have to fight out way back? Cool! I need something to do!"

"That was the hell of an experience," Duke told them and shook his head. "Did you have...dreams, too?"

"I did. Very frightening dreams, to be honest," Mallory said and rubbed her temple. "And I thought that they were true..."

"Didn't think that anything could frighten you.", Nosedive muttered wearily. He received an evil glare for that remark.

"I think that these dreams had only this purpose: to frighten us," Tanya clarified. "They were trying to control our mind by using our personal fears. Fears have an immense power, and if you find out the truly deepest fear of a person, you have an immense power over him."

Wildwing, who had remained silent until now, coughed and asked: "But how did they know our deepest fears?"

The blonde scientist only shrugged. "I have no idea. It must be a very advanced technology, and if I could study it further, I could give you an answer, but right now I am lost."

Nosedive glanced at his team-mates and noticed how tired and exhausted they looked. He himself certainly didn't make an exception, he was sure about that. Facing his deepest fear was something he wouldn't wish his worst enemy - well, maybe Dragaunus, but the rest...no. Briefly he wondered what the fears of the others had been...he somehow couldn't imagine a frightened Mallory, sitting in a corner and whimpering. Or a scared Duke who tried to run away. No. And it made him curious. What had they experienced? He wanted to ask, but something held him back. Nosedive himself wouldn't want to talk about his fears, and he knew that the others were feeling the same. Maybe one day, one day when this was over and they were back at home. Maybe...

"You okay?", came the worried question from his brother. Nosedive smiled. Okay, maybe he would tell one person...

"I'm okay. Just thinking."

Mallory glared at them. "Well, I don't know about you, but I want to go home as fast as possible. We don't have any weapons, guys, so we should better try to sneak out."

"She's right," Wildwing agreed. "Let's go."

The ducks gathered at the door and nodded to each other, then they sneaked, one after another, out in the hallway. It was dark, just a few dim lights illuminating the ship. It had to be night, Mallory assumed and looked out of a small window. Yep, the moon was shining. She smiled slightly at the sight of the glittering stars - Finally at home!

They didn't meet any saurians, and they managed it to sneak past some drones which were guarding the corridors. Then they reached the door and had to face a new problem:

"Does anyone have a key?"

"Very funny, Nosedive," Mallory snorted and examined the thick, metal door. Their was no way to break it up, for they had no weapons and even Grin wasn't strong enough for this task.

"Tanya?," Wildwing questioned, but the blonde scientist was already examining the lock of the door. 

"I'm trying...," came the muffled reply. "But I don't have any tools!"

Duke sighed. He just wanted to get out, wanted to grab the next car and to go back home. For a short moment it occurred to him that it was a little bit strange that he, an alien, considered a pond on a strange planet as home, but he just waved the thought away. He had grown to like his team-mates, had accepted them as a family - Nosedive the little brother, Mallory the small sister, Wildwing like a father, caring for all of them, Grin like a big uncle and Tanya like an older sister - and no matter where you were, with your family it was always like home.

"Can you do it?", he wanted to know, after Tanya had worked for five minutes in silence.

The blonde female looked up and nodded. "I think. Just give me some more minutes, it's not that complicated," she turned back to the door, tuning out the rest of the world while she was concentrating on her task. A small image popped into her head - of a young duck who used to be her best friend. Tanya smiled.

_I can manage it. For Nicole. And for the others. I will never fail again._

Her fingers worked softly on the mechanism, and suddenly a soft click could be heard. With a hissing noise, the door opened and the cool night air filled the room and their lungs. Tanya took a deep breath and felt joy in her heart. She was at home. She had fled the nightmare, she had faced her fear and now she knew that she could live with it. No suppressing of memories.

_I will never forget you, Nic. Never._

_But I will live my life. And I won't give up._

"Great," Nosedive cheered and headed out of the door. "Let's go!" 

Wildwing followed. "Be careful, Dive, we don't know where we are..."

Duke grinned. "Well, I don't mind where we are, at least we're able to leave this place. I don't care if we are in Alaska..."

"The wise mind is always careful," Grin shared his daily wisdom with Duke, who only sweatdropped.

Mallory shook her head. "Stop it, you two, just follow the rest!" And she jumped out of the door landing on sandy, rocky ground.

Tanya was the last one to leave the Raptor. "I hope I will never have to see this place again!", she admitted and sighed relieved. Then the scientist looked around. The raptor was standing in a small valley in the middle of nowhere. The stars illuminated the scene and Tanya could recognize the sand on the ground and the brown rocks around them. They were probably somewhere in the desert.

"Oh GREAT, from one problem to the next!" Mallory spoke out what everybody thought. "I mean, why couldn't we land in the near of a small town with a nice little telephone? Maybe even a snack bar where I could eat something?"

"Yeah, pizza would be great!" Nosedive grinned happily at the thought.

"There's a cactus, maybe you can eat this," the red-haired duck pointed to a small, dusty plant not far away from them.  
Nosedive made a disgusted face. "Why should I eat a cactus?"

"Because usually you eat everything, even one-week old pizza with mould on it!", snapped Mallory.

Nosedive tried to defend himself. "That wasn't mould, that was vegetables!"

"As far as I remember, it was Pizza Margarita - there aren't vegetables on that kind..."

"Well, maybe it was a healthy Margarita...," The teen pouted and crossed his arms.

The female duck just sighed. "Whatever! What I wanted to clarify is that..."

"Stop it!" Wildwing interjected. "Fighting has no use right now. We are all tired and exhausted, but that doesn't mean that we have to snap at each other, clear?" He sighed and rubbed his temples. "I would suggest that we try to walk away from the Raptor as soon as possible, because I certainly don't want to be here when they wake up and find out that we are gone - especially when we have no weapons!"

"Maybe we should climb on a rock and look for a street or something like that," Duke suggested. 

Wildwing nodded thankfully to the thief. "Good idea, I think we will do that. And you two behave yourselves!", he glanced warningly at Mallory and Nosedive.

"Bah, you're no fun," muttered his brother, but followed the others when they slowly climbed a small hill. The landscape around them was dusty and empty, even plants where rare to be seen. The blue night sky stretched over them, his glittering stars the only light in the desert. Nosedive stared at them in awe. _One of them is the sun of Puckworld...my home...so far away..._

_But I have two homes now. I'm at home on earth, and I am at home on Puckworld. I guess it's kinda strange, but I like this place. I like the people. I like the sun and the beach...and I like ice-hockey! And my friends. The friends who would never betray me, like they did in the dream. Hah! Deagaunus wasn't prepared for this, huh? He didn't know how strong friendship can be..._

He chuckled slightly and scanned the landscape. Not far away a small grey band could be seen. Nosedive blinked. "Hey, I believe there's a street!"

"Where?" Duke stepped to his side. "Ah, I can see it! Finally a sign of civilisation!"

"A pretty poor sign, to be quite frank," Mallory commented, gazing at the small and empty street. "There isn't even one car!"

"But usually a street leads to a city, and there we can contact Phil or someone else to pick us up," Wildwing smiled slightly. "See the positive point: we have the rare opportunity to have a nice walk in the desert!"

"Oh great, can you see me jumping of joy?" Nosedive glared at his older brother. "Your jokes used to be better."

"Whatever," Wing grinned and ruffled through the blonde hair of his brother. "I just like the annoyed look on your face!"  


_And I like being able to see your face...because I couldn't stand it if you were dead, if you died in front of my eyes. I guess I wouldn't want to stop living, like I did in my dream, but nonetheless it would be pretty hard for me. You wouldn't want me to die, would you?  
_

_I'm just so happy to see you alive and safe, quarrelling with Mallory and joking with me. I'm so happy to see everybody alive, and not the dead faces, with blood and frozen lips. It has been so real, and I really believed that I was alone...I will never want to live through that again!_

The two brothers continued arguing until they reached the street. Grin just rolled his eyes in mock-annoyance. "They are disturbing the inner peace of my soul," he whispered to no one in particular and closed his eyes, trying to meditate a bit.

"Hey, dude, can you see your way with closed eyes?" Duke wanted to know.

"The spirit is leading my soul, my friend," Grin told him wisely, eyes still closed - and stumbled over a rock. Duke started laughing. "Guess your spirit is a little bit blind, huh?"  
Grin fell in the laughter. It was a friendly laughter, used to release stress and worries, and they laughed with their hearts.

"Oh man, I am SO looking forward to fall in my bed," Nosedive yawned. "I'm tired!"

"We all are, we all are." Wildwing told him. He felt the tiredness in every muscle, aching and hurting, and his eyelids would drop every second. It was a little bit strange, considered that they had just dreamed, had been in this prison the whole time without moving. Maybe the brain was projecting its feelings on the body...or something like that...Tanya certainly had an explanation for this, but, to be quite frank, he didn't want to hear it right now. The duck feared that he might fall asleep during her explanations, and that would be more than impolite...

And so, a tired and beaten group of six ducks walked through the peaceful night desert. An air of triumph could be sensed around them, because they had managed what only few achieve: they had faced their fears. And they had kept their spirits.

No words needed to be spoken. Each of them knew that the other one had had similar experiences, had endured a similar horror, and that only made their bond stronger. They walked in comfortable silence, regarding the sky and regarding the nature, lost in their thoughts.

  
_The most important thing_

_To realize about your fears_

_Is that you can't avoid them_

_You cannot run away_

_And you can't forget them_

_The only way to win against them_

_Is to fight_

_To Face your Fears_

_You will cry_

_You will want to give up_

_But when you keep your strength_

_You'll learn to live with them_

_Learn to accept your fears_

_And they won't hunt you down anymore_

_Won't make you helpless_

_Because then_

_you have learned your lesson_

  


It took them about an hour of walking until they reached the next city. They called Phil, who promptly sent them a car, and thirty minutes later they were back in the safety of the Pond.  


As the ducks entered the familiar building, they felt as if they had been away for years. And it felt like coming home, like coming back to a place full of warmth and love. 

Nosedive immediately burst into his room, threw himself on the bed and grabbed for a pile of old comics. "I missed you so much!" He mock-sobbed and hugged the books. "What would life be without comics?" The teen put his hand in the air in a pathetic attempt of imitating Hamlet. 

"Just go to bed and be silent!" Mallory screamed from across the hall, not even bothering to put her head out of her room.

"Love you too, Mal-Mal!"

"Shut up!"

"Nosedive!" Wildwing sighed frustrated. "Just go to bed, it's four o'clock in the morning!"

"Aww, Wing...I'm hungry! Can't we order a pizza?" 

"You're just hyper, that's all. Switch off the light and sleep."

"But I'm hungry!"

"....Then be hungry in silence..."

"You're mean..."

There were a few minutes of silence, and Wildwing retreated back to his room. He sat down on the bed and rubbed his eyes. He felt...like shit, like death warmed over or something similar. As stress-relieving the bickering with Nosedive was, sometimes it just got too much. But then again, a few hours ago, in his dream, he would have been very glad about exactly this bickering...

There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," Wildwing called and raised a surprised eyebrow when Nosedive stuck his head through the door. He didn't look hyper anymore, and the duck realized that it had probably just been the excitement of being at home again, mixed with joy and tiredness.

"Hi bro'," he said warmly.

"Hi Wing," Nosedive replied, addressing his brother with his usual nickname. He shifted uncomfortably. "I just wanted to ask if...if I..." He seemed to be a little bit embarrassed.

"What?"

"Well...if I could stay with you? This night?" He pleaded, eyes big and round like puppy dog eyes. Wildwing could never resist this look, especially when it seemed to be that lost.

"Of course." he laughed. "Always. You know that."

Nosedive slowly smiled. A look of relief crossed his face. "I know. I just wanted to make sure after...after...you know what."

_After the events in the Raptor. Yeah, I know. Your worst fear probably was that I abandoned you_. The older duck shuddered at this thought. He would never abandon his brother, but yet alone the thought that he had endured something like this made him rage with fury. He didn't deserve this. He's just a kid, a cheerful kid, and he shouldn't go through that.

_I'm just glad that it's over and that I'm here to comfort him. _

_

* * *

_

  
Sometimes, when you wake up from a nightmare, you can't remember anything. There's just the vague memory of something frightening, something that scared the shit out of you - but you don't know what it was. The only thing which stays is a slightly numb feeling and your trembling fingers. Suddenly the darkness isn't comforting anymore, but it's a place where your fears have hidden. You take your blanket and curl together, trying to block it out, but it doesn't work.  
Occasionally you will fall asleep and when you wake up in the morning, everything is forgotten and the sun is shining.

Then there are the times when you remember what you have dreamed, and they are far worse than the other nightmares. Because the pictures are haunting you even if you are awake, and it doesn't help to snuggle into the blanket. It frightens you, and never mind what your brain says, it won't stop.

These are the nightmares which can destroy you.

They have power. Immense power. About your will, about your feelings, about your body. It's like being totally helpless - when you feel this fear, you are a crying little kid, no matter how old you actually are. And you desperately want someone to hold one, want to have a person who hugs you, who soothes the dark figures away, who sings you into sleep.

Sometimes this person isn't there. And the only thing you can do is to wait - to wait until the nightmare is over. Wait until the sun is dawning and you finally feel strong enough to leave the bed. Strange, how the sun can change everything. The nightmare fades as soon as its first rays enter your room.

Then there comes the time when you learn to deal with these nightmares. You learn that running away and hiding has no use. And you have to accept that this person won't be always there. So you try to find your own method. Your own way of fighting your fears.  
Maybe you try to think of something else.  
Or maybe you start singing.  
Or maybe you just repeat in your head: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid!"  
Whatever it is, it will help. And you will feel stronger. Much stronger. Because now you can fight. Because you aren't helpless anymore.

_Because you faced your fear._

_

* * *

_

Morning dawned in the pond and six very tired ducks turned around in her beds, wishing the early light to hell and falling asleep once again.  
It was actually the first time for months Tanya slept longer than 8 o'clock, leaving Drake One like he was and forgetting her numerous scientific experiments.  


Even Mallory, who was used to the military routine, just snorted when her alarm clock ringed (she had forgotten to switch it off) and threw the evil thing around the room. It made a sickening crush and then wonderful silence filled her room.  


That Nosedive slept long was no surprise. The teen was well-known for his laziness on weekends and his grumpy mood in the mornings. Alarm-clocks never survived long in his room; usually they were buried under masses of clothes, comics and old pizzas - something no clock could survive.

That was the reason why Phil Palmfeather found himself totally alone in the conference room this morning. He had advised the ducks a few days ago to meet here, because they had an important game this afternoon. But nobody appeared, and a nerve started twitching on his forehead.   


"They are ruining me!", the man exclaimed dramatically and put his head in his hands. He had actually never realized that the ducks had been missing for the past day - there had been a new partner in advertisement and new contracts had to be made.

"That's enough!", he finally hollered and stormed into the pond. Unfortunately he hadn't the permission to enter the parts in which the ducks were living, so he just walked in circles like a lion in the cage. (A/N: I forgot about that. Did Phil ever enter the duck's home? If I am wrong, forgive me...I watched the series some years ago, and I couldn't watch every episode .)  


"These ducks! Can't they take anything serious?? Argh! All the money!"

But all the complaining didn't help. The ducks were sleeping soundly in the safety of their self-made home, and neither Phil nor Dragaunus could have waken them up.

* * * * * * * * * 

"Uhmmm....", Mallory groaned, once again waking up, and cracked an eye open. She blinked confused and wanted to look on her clock, only to realize that the clock wasn't there. Dazed parts of her mind tried to tell her that she had thrown this clock away a few hours before, but she didn't really remember. The red-haired duck swung her legs over the bed and stood up.  


A crunching sound could be heard.  


And then....  


"Owwww! SHIT!", she jumped up, holding her left leg and quickly dashing away from the former alarm-clock on the floor. There was a sad little pile of metal, giving beeping sounds away. It sounded like a dying animal.  


Well, that explained where her clock was.  


_Damn._  


Slowly the duck cleaned her feet and winced when tiny glass pieces cut into her skin. Then she looked around and realized that she was in her room.

In her room.

Not in a twisted reality, created to drive her crazy and to scare her to death, no, it was *her* room with her pile of magazines in the corner, her clothes in the wardrobe and her pictures on the wall. There was nobody who frightened her, no scary voice which invaded her thoughts, just this room....   


She sighed relieved. So the rescue wasn't a dream after all...

Yeah, it wasn't a dream. She was back in normal life. She was back at the pond. She was Mallory again, not a whimpering scared little child, no, she was strong like she used to be before - even stronger.  


A grin spread over her face and she quickly got dressed. Time to start a new day, time to enjoy life again, time to....she opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

***splash***

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!!," maniacal laughter could be heard, as a bucket of water landed on the redhead, soaking her fresh clothes and leaving a puddle on the floor.  


Nosedive was standing at the other end of the hallway and holding his stomach of laughter. "You look...so...haha....funnny...," he gasped between his chuckles and wiped a tear away.   


"Nosedive....," growled Mallory and balled her fists. "You are so dead!!!"  


He just smiled at her. "Aww, I just wanted to make sure that we're back to the old times, Mal-Mal! Love ya, too!", then he dashed away.  


"NOSEDIIIVE!," came the furious scream, echoing through the whole pond and startling innocent ducks.  


"Catch me!", the teen just replied and ran for his life.  


Mallory snorted. "Oh, I will, and how I will!" She raced after Dive. The two ducks hurried through the rooms, running past Wildwing who had just gotten up and was sitting in the kitchen, reading the newspaper. The older duck shook his head at this sight and chuckled slightly.

Things were back to normal again.

He continued reading with a smile on his face, while the others came to life, woken by the noisy chase of Mallory and Nosedive. Tanya made herself a cup of coffee and went to the lab, Grin retreated back into his room to meditate. Duke seated himself beside Wildwing and grabbed a part of the newspaper. The older mallard flashed a quick grin to Wildwing and started flipping through the paper. Soon he was reading the sports news, muttering here and then something about the 'stupid human-beings who can't play ice-hockey'. Wildwing just snickered.

_Indeed, things were back to normal again._  


**End**

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It's finally over, huh? Took me quite a while to finish this piece...*smiles sheepishly* And the ending isn't how I'd liked it to be, but I guess my inspiration was lost...I'm never good at writing endings. Sorry!*whines*

Thanks to everybody who has reviewed - it really helped a lot and without all these people, I wouldn't have finished this story. It was quite difficult at times 

**Orenda** - Thanks for the constant support, the nice chats and generally being my friend. It's always funny when we meet on msn and complain about out writer's block!

**Icelightning** - You were a great beta for my digimon story, and if I'll ever write another MD fanfic, I will ask you to be my beta. And some day I will get all the commas and so on correct....*beams*

**Dolphy** - Well, thanks for beta-ing this piece and talking with me about silly stuff (school O.o). I *could* write this in German, but then the others won't understand it....we don't want to be unfair, do we? (Naja, ein kleines bisschen schon *teuflisches Gelächter*) And your art still rules!!

**Ottercub** - (or Lily C.) Your support is really a special one and I'm always looking forward to read your reviews. They are sooo nice and I feel really inspired to continue after I have read them! Thanks for that! I can't say *how* thankful am for all the reviews you wrote to my stories!

**Eiflin** - Again, thanks for the reviews and the support! You guys are all great, what would I be without you? *sniff*

Well...maybe we'll meet each other in another fanfic of me, although I have currently no ideas. Guess I have to wait for my muse....oh well..*sighs*


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